Through The Storm

30

Estella

I swept the glass under the desk using my hands. Then I ran my busted knuckles under cold water to cool them down, I slowly picked the glass out. I could still hear the knocking at the door and I could hear Jules yelling to me. I knew it was her because no matter what happened between us, neither of us could live knowing the other was in pain.

I had no idea where Cade was at this time and I had hoped desperately that he wasn't even at the house to hear all of that.
"Stell just let me in please." I heard her plead through the door. Her voice had calmed but I could hear the breaking through her words.

I turned to the door and unlocked it, she opened it immediately wasting no time. Her eyes darted to the broken mirror and my knuckles as I carefully pulled the last piece of glass out.
"It happened again didn't it?" She searched me for an answer, already knowing it was a yes.

She had known about my attacks ever since they first started, but because she was dealing with her own shit I never opened up about them. She always tried to help but I pushed her off.
"Yeah but I'm fine. Just don't tell mom. And also, did Cade hear all of that?" I was sure he did because where else would he be?

"No. I sent him to the nearby store for dinner supplies as soon as he came downstairs. I knew by the way you rushed off that something bad was about to happen." Guilt flashed through her eyes for not coming after me.

"Oh." I said in a defeated tone. We stood in the silence for a bit before she came over to me and held out her hand for mine.

I cautiously gave her my busted hand and she examined it, she placed it to her chest and hugged as if trying to comfort the pain coursing through my hand. "I'm sorry" she choked out.

"It's not your fault." The tears were forming again and I knew if I cried she would see how weak I was. Truth is I just missed moments like these. As much as the before part was damaging, the after where she cared for me was worth it.
"I would do this everyday if it meant you cared for me." I directed my gaze at her, I knew it was harsh to say and that it would hurt her. But it was honesty, and that's something I've always given everyone around me.

"Stella you know I care for you. I can't believe you would even say that to me!" She was growing angry. Good, let her get angry. I've waited for this fight for years.

"When have you ever cared! It's always about you!" I screamed at her, tears trickling down my cheek.

"When did you care? Was it the time you left me?"

"I left you? Jules you told me you were done! You walked away from me when I needed my sister. Dylan went missing and you didn't even talk to me! I'm your sister!" I was sobbing over the words. I heard the front door open and I shoved past her to my room. I dried my eyes and put on a fake smile, practicing for when I had to face whoever was downstairs whether it was Cade or my mom.

Jules ran down the steps, not glancing at me even once more. Leave it to her to run from me. I walked down them peering around the corner to see who it was and prepare myself. It was Cade, thank god it wasn't my mom. Jules would just go right to her.

Cade stared at me like he was in shock. Did Jules say something to him? I swear to god if she-

"You okay princess?" I looked around for a second not realizing he was asking me. I don't think he's ever asked me if I was okay.