Through The Storm

38

Cade
The day before

Fuck. I just told her I've killed people. That was never meant to happen. Now we're in this shit deep I guess. If the guys hear how I screwed up this bad, they won't take me seriously at all anymore. But fuck dude when she said she hated me, I felt a painful feeling that I haven't felt in so long. You'd think someone just told me they'd killed my puppy, except I honestly wouldn't care if that happened. The guilt and emotion though that she brought up in me scared me to death. I don't even know what I'm fucking guilty for. I didn't do anything to her. Besides bringing her into this messy industry.

Either way, it's now or never that she learns the truth— especially after I slipped and told her I've killed motherfuckers. They all deserved it, some pissed me off and some came against our company. She would be next if she doesn't start just doing what the fuck I tell her to. Even if I couldn't be the one to kill her, someone else will.

Jax: what's happening over there?
Shit. I had to tell them that she knows. It'll be fine though, I have a plan.
Me: She knows stuff. But it's taken care of. Do not come here.
I have no idea what the fuck would happen if one of them showed up, or one of the younger workers. That would go to shit— and if one of them lays a fucking finger on her— never mind. I'll fix this.

The next morning

Last night when Estella came down those stairs and woke me up, I forgot about everything. I actually fucking thanked her. What the hell was wrong with me? I know what, I haven't had a good fuck in almost a week and a half. Besides Estella sucking me off, it's been nothing. Damn she looked good last night too. Parading around the kitchen in those fucking shorts, Christ the things I'd do to her.

I had no option but to follow her into the kitchen and talk to her, scare her more. I didn't intend on kissing her but I guess it went with the plan anyway, making her hurt more. It sucked though, I felt guilt for making her upset, but I needed to. It was the only way she would start listening to me. Especially after telling her about part of my real job.

I should've never done that. She just caught me off guard, she said she hated me and then said she didn't. It got to my head, I needed her to hate me. I need her to want nothing to do with me. Telling her that minor detail was the only way I could keep her in check and fix this god forsaken situation. I already screwed up the first time I talked to her on that plane, no way I could actually let her fall for me.

Any other girl and I wouldn't care. I've played many girls, and all of them were just for fun. Just like she was supposed to be. It wasn't necessarily a thing for my company; more so an entertainment opportunity. She was new to town, didn't know anyone, so innocent and hot too. She was an easy target for my fucked up mind, and she was the perfect person to mess with.

I didn't expect her to be so goddamn nice all the time. What the fuck was with her? She saw the good in everyone and it pissed me off. Her sister, her mother, her piece of shit ex boyfriend. She forgave all of them. For no fucking reason, they all treated her like shit and took everything they could from her, everything she would give. It was appalling to see her back home acting as though her sisters a little saint.

Not that I know what went down between the two, but still it pissed me off knowing she was so ready to forgive anyone. Part of me needed to show her these people meant nothing and didn't give a shit about her. However, that's not my problem and I shouldn't care. Like I said, she was supposed to just be a play toy for entertainment. I was gonna take her virginity and send her on her way, just to see the priceless reaction when I broke her.