Through The Storm

1

      Do you know that feeling when everything seems to cave in and it's almost like you can't breathe, you're just slowly suffocating in your own thoughts? It's been seven months. Seven long months since the guy I was in love with walked out of my life and left me broken, in pieces. He was everything to me. I could breathe him in for hours, passing time, not caring about any responsibilities. He helped me forget all the tragedies in life. Or so I thought. I still struggle to breathe without him sometimes. I still struggle to think or to eat. It's not because I'm incapable of moving on or I'm still shattered inside, but because when he left he didn't just leave. He took parts of me with him, parts that I never thought I'd give away but then I did. And I would take it back in an instant.

      I received a text from his number two days ago, asking to meet and talk about what happened, move on from it. It's been seven months since the break up. But it was more like an abandonment. It wasn't some high school fling that was ended over text, it was much much more. So here I am, sitting in this coffee shop, desperately waiting for the door to open and it to be him.

     The door swings open countless times, all being random strangers with stories of their own. This pair walks in, hand in hand, I assume they're together but maybe not. The guy has thick black hair and round silver glasses, he's looking down at her with this sparkle in his eye. The girl is dressed in a casual blue floral dress, she's looking into his eyes as if he just told her he hated her. Her facial expression dropped and they separate. She walks out with him following closely behind. It reminded me a lot of what happened that night leaving out all the gory details.
    You may wonder why I'm doing this, why I'm choosing to meet the one who broke me. Truth is; I don't have an answer for you. I'm wondering myself why I'm sitting here when he's already three minutes late.

     And then it happened. The door creaked open, screeching as if this were a horror movie. And in some ways, I believe it is. It's my nightmare, and it's coming true.

"Is this seat taken?" The sound of his voice is enough to make me get up and leave already. It's raspy, but warm. It's like coming home, but someone broke into your house. Like coming up for fresh air and being in a cloud of black smoke. It's like the person who killed you inside is talking to you again.

"No, no it's not." I try to fake a small giggle to break the ice a bit. He chuckles deeply and his pristine white teeth show through his light pink lips. Oh, his lips. The way they used to move in perfect sync with mine, the way they felt on my forehead on the days I couldn't move out of bed. The way they-

"Good. So how have you been?" Why is he being so nice to me. Acting as if he didn't send me into a dark pit of loneliness. It's your fault for agreeing to this. We should be home watching tv right now. I groan silently at my inner self.

"Well you know, better than I was 7 months ago ha ha" He joked with me first, so that was okay right? I mean was that too far?

"Right. About that. I'm sorry." Those words. I craved those words for months before they became unbearable to hear. He must think putting a band-aid on a gunshot wound heals it?

"Sorry? That's it? I needed those words to fall from your lips as much as I needed air until suddenly I didn't want either. And that's all you have to give me" I shook my head more so in disbelief rather than disappointment.

"I meant to tell you that sooner." He says it as if it would've mattered then more than now.

"There's nothing else? That's it?" My anger surges back through me, as if it never left me in the first place.

"I wanted to know if you were seeing anyone." Did he just? Is he? If he's seeing someone then that's the end forever, for good.

"No are you?" I'm trying to sound casual but it's so difficult to not slap him from my seat.

"Maybe, just let me explain it" I stood up grabbing my bag. This was a mistake. I should've never come here.

"Wait, Estella please don't leave. I wanted to talk about things" his hand is on my wrist. His eyes are on mine. His bright grey eyes that sparkle in any light. Oh how I miss his hands and his eyes. The way they used to comb through my hair, comforting me in a way only he could. I turn back to look at him while still in his grasp.

"What?" I grit through my teeth. I didn't want to see him today and I should've never come. I was dumb and stupid. Looking at these color splashed walls that used to bring me joy, I can only find the spots of grey where sadness overshadows.

"We aren't dating yet. She's the girl I- you know. I wanted to make sure you were fine with it before I moved on with my life." She's the girl. The one he cheated on me with.

"Yep all good here. Have a nice life." I turned around once again before he could see me spill one more tear over him. I noticed his hand was still on my wrist and it took everything in me to continue on from that moment and leave the little shop I used to love.

     I pull my wrist from him quickly and turn to face him for the very last time. "Goodbye David." I quickly turn back around and walk as fast as humanly possible, out the doors of a now off limits coffee shop.

[ Okay so that was the first chapter. I wrote three different chapter ones and each one had a different story line it would branch into but this one was the one I liked the most. I hoped if anyone read they enjoyed it, I'm going to go work on chapter 2 now :) ]