Through The Storm

44

Estella

I rub my eyes awake. Today is what I've been avoiding all week. It's the day I go back to Texas. It's been four days since I found out he was gone. I didn't eat much or really get out of bed at all. I don't know why I'm so affected by someone I've spent so little time with. What is his hold on me?

Is it because he's the first guy to say I'm beautiful, is it because I've craved love so badly that I created a perfect fantasy in my mind? Did I drive him away? I shake my head at my thoughts, reminding myself I'll see him tomorrow. For business. Whatever the hell that means.

I haven't talked to my sister or mom since Thursday morning when they told me about the note. I can't, i don't have the energy to. I can barely get myself out of bed to go pee. How am I supposed to form meaningless conversations with people who look down on me?

I switch my focus. My bags are packed by my bedroom door, which I never thought I'd be opposed to leaving. This house was never a place I felt safe at, not just because my brother went missing. But because of all the issues that led to my family's breaking point. The fights, the drugs, the abuse. And then of course, losing the only innocent thing left in the household; well that sent everyone over.

I try not to think about Dylan too much, my mind wonders to the unthinkable. And although I'm smart enough to know there isn't hope, part of my heart still twinges at the thought that he could be out there. Somewhere at least.

I've watched enough crime shows and murder mysteries that I can almost conclude he's dead. Which breaks me internally, but if I stay in our fantasy world with our great big treehouse— then maybe that little girl inside of me will stay alive and just maybe she'll find her little brother again.

Oh god, it's 10:30. My flight boards in an hour. Maybe I just shouldn't go? Maybe I should pretend to miss it, stay here forever. Would Cade come looking? No, he'd send someone to kill me. The past few days without him have been long and weird. My atmosphere feels shifted, the world isn't turning the same. Or maybe it's that the world is back on its axis and I'm the one who's shifted.

I should've never been with him in any way, shape, or form. I should've stuck to my goals of finding a new life, starting over. Not parading around with a killer for the adrenaline kick. But was that all it was? Can I truly believe that's all there was? I'm sure for him it's all about the chase. Actually, I know it was. And what hurts even more; is he won. He got the last word. He left.

Shit, okay I really need to get going if I'm gonna make this plane. I run down the steps with my bags, stopping when I see my mother and Jules.

"There she is!" My mom exclaims. Yeah. Here I am i guess.

"Are you okay? You're really going back?" Jules says in a low tone, shocked that I would consider going back to a city I'm not wanted in.

"Well, i went there to start a new life. Why would I let someone like Cade ruin that for me? I need to get going. Love you both." I say with a smile and walk out the door.

I hear them shout I love you's and to be safe as I close the front entrance. As soon as I step on my porch, the smile fades. Just remember you are not the image he made you to be. You can go back, back to your friends and your job. You can forget the feelings and just do what he says. But can I?

Can I sign my rights over to him? Can I really live with being owned? Not that he would have a contract or anything, but it's not empty threats anymore- I know what he's capable of. Wait. He wouldn't have a contract right? I mean that's just ridiculous. People don't actually do that. It's not fifty shades of grey or anything.

Suddenly, I'm at the airport. I hadn't even realized I left the house. I guess all of my empty thoughts kept me on autopilot just well enough to not crash the car. Would I care— probably not.

Being in the airport again almost causes my heart to shoot through the roof. It was only weeks ago I was here for the first time, hoping for a new life. Praying that there's something out there for me. And people ask why I chose Houston, but the truth is I don't know. My dad lived there growing up, and that's about all I know about his past or about Texas.

I guess I was wishing on a miracle; that maybe he could guide me through the city. Maybe he had something special here. Family? My dad never really talked about his life, until he died. He practically drank himself to that hospital bed. But he was still my dad.

I don't have a choice anymore, I spent my last savings on moving to Houston. I have to stay there and do something. I need to find my people and my place. Obviously it hasn't been a great experience so far, but if I can just let go of Cade... maybe I can move past it.

By the time I'm through airport security the first section of my plane is already boarding. I wait patiently, biting my nails, picking my lips, shaking my legs. The anticipation nearly consumes me inside. I can't even describe the feeling. Am I nervous, sad, anxious, angry, or just desperate for a new start?

Not to mention the immense battle I have coming up with Cade and his 'company'. Is it weird that I still don't know what exactly he does? Maybe it's better that way. I shouldn't get more involved than I already am. I nearly got killed with him, by him.

Anger seethes in my bones as I think of all the almost's he's caused. Almost getting arrested, almost losing my virginity to a prick, almost dying from a car, almost being choked out. How can he do all that to me and then tell me it wasn't fake? After saying it was.

He is so totally fucked and twisted, if anything I should be thanking him for leaving me when he did.

"F 1-30 can now board" and that's me.

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[ okay guys, little bit of a time jump. I would love love love if you guys could comment and like or let me know tips and stuff! I want this to stay a story you guys love! Thanks so much💕 ]