The One

45

Tamia
The nigga had me so high and so fucking drugged up at all times I swear I ain't know what he was doing to my baby.
They say in the videos I was laughing and shit, I swear it was the drugs.

I got released last night and I don't have no where to go, no money , no where to live ,so why be alive.

I know Chaz hate me, the day of the hearing he looked like he wanted to kill me. Shit I wanted him to kill me for all the bullshit I let happen.

I was label and beat up for the first 3 years of my sentence, the only reason I'm out now is because I agreed to turn state against Mike on another cases he had going on, where he touched the neighbors 9 year old daughter.
I really don't remember it clearly but I do remember waking up with her laying next to us nude, when I asked him why she was even in our house we beat me up and shot me up with his supply.

Dior meant the world to me before I got with Mike. I remember moving to Missouri with him thinking he was the right one because he showed me nothing but good  as long as we was in Florida.
A month of being in Missouri the nigga wanted to beat her and for a while I would stop him but then he'll drug me up and beat my baby.

I called my dad over one day to come visit because I needed a way out.
When my dad got their I left thinking he would see the marks and call the police, which he did but the tables turn and both of us was arrested .
I admitted I was reckless and careless , I admit I let everything that happen to my baby happen because I let this nigga drug me and beat my ass.

I remember the nigga telling me that Dior was gonna be his little hoe, we fought and this nigga knocked me of cold.

So I don't blame nobody for me not having my kids.
I know Dior is safe and well taking care of with  Chaz and Jessica , I want never reach out to them just because I know I wasn't nothing but a fuck up in her life. But I do love my daughter and will always be sorry for what I let happen to her.
My son was with my momma, that's a whole another story.

My momma or my fathers liked me.
I called them to tell them I was out they told me to never come around them.
That shit hurts but I get it, I get it all.

Sitting on the side of the river bank, I had nothing to live for so why live? Shit I don't even deserve to live and on many nights in prison I begged the ladies to beat my ass, I begged them to kill me because one thing they didn't like in jail was ah motherfucking Bitch who harm a child, and that's what I was label as even though I never touched my child, I allowed all that bullshit to happen.

It's 23 degrees out here, I'm cold as fuck .
Standing to the edge of the water, I prayed my kids grow to become something, I prayed they both forgive me, shit I prayed Chaz forgive me.

Jumping .........................