Chapter 66 - I was afraid that my fire had melted that ice

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People at war with themselves will always cause collateral damage in the lives of those around them.

- John Mark Green


"Draco?" I asked as I entered his dorm room. I had been looking for him everywhere, but he had been avoiding me for the past few days and I was quite sure that I knew why he was doing that. He hadn't been at dinner, which worried me. He hadn't skipped a meal in weeks.

"Huh? Oh, come in", he mumbled. He was looking out of the glass window. The windows in the dungeons always fascinated me as they were beneath the Great Lake. The calm ripples of the water and the beautiful sunlight that scattered on the surface was the most beautiful view to wake up to.

I closed the door behind me and stood beside him, looking at the calm water.

"How are you?" I asked genuinely. I knew that he wasn't ignoring me because I had done something wrong, he was simply scared of what was to come, which was quite understandable.

"I'm fine", he shrugged. He always said that. He never answered the question honestly unless I kept pushing it, but pushing it would only worsen the situation today.

"I know you're scared, Draco, I am too, but you need to do this. It's the only way to save your life", I said and I took his hand. "It's the end of June, our exams are over. It has to happen."

He didn't say anything, but I could practically see the wheels turning in his head. In just a couple of days, our sixth year would be over, just one more to go. The Vanishing Cabinet was completely finished, waiting to be used. But Draco was scared, he was stalling.

"You can do this Draco, you're strong", I continued. "And it's the only option. You're not a bad person for doing what you've been told." I didn't know if Draco could do it. I highly doubted it, actually, even though I had tried to mentally prepare him for it.

Draco was just not a murderer. Sure, he had trouble with empathy and always had his own best interests at heart, but he was no assassin, he didn't want to take someone's life.

"It's going to happen tonight", he said suddenly, turning his head my way. There was a scared look in his eyes and I felt slightly responsible. The past three months had been a blessing. He was more careless, less stressed and overall happier. And now all of that happiness needed to fall apart in order for him to complete this task.

He couldn't be vulnerable, or positive or happy. He had to be cold-hearted to complete this task. He had to turn to ice again, and I was afraid that my fire had melted that ice.

"Tonight?" I whispered, holding onto his hand. He nodded and looked away again.

"I notified Malfoy Manor. They'll be here at ten tonight." I checked my watch. It was already eight. They'd be here in two hours. Dumbledore would be dead in a little more than that.

"And where will we be?" I asked. Draco looked at me again and shook his head.

"I, not we, Ellie. You've been a great help these past few months, but I have to finish it alone", he said, an incredibly sad look on his face. I couldn't even object all that much.

"This is a serious quest, Draco, I might be able to help, even if it's just as sideline support."

Draco shook his head again. "It will be a crime scene, Ellie. I don't want to cause you any unnecessary trouble. Besides ..."

It was quiet for a very long time, but I knew that all Draco needed was time. It's all he had ever needed.

"Besides, I don't want you to see it, I really don't", he whispered. He was still scared that I would think differently about him afterwards. Some part of me was scared of it too.

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