You're a Mind Fuck, Babe

Chapter 59: Your Knife, My Back. My Gun, Your Head.

"I'll take care of everything. Just go home and clean up the mess," Gerard instructs and I feel obliged to obey his orders. He throws me his coat and I put it on, letting the remnants of his body heat warm me. I take Ryan with me, and head out of the hospital. I gave the cop my number without realizing my phone is soaked in blood in Gerard's apartment. Ryan and I hop the bus and get to the stop near the convenience store he works at. From here it's not a far walk to the apartment building. There are still cops in and around the building so we'll have to wait until they're done. I see Ryan shivering and I wrap Gerard's jacket around him.

"Let's go find a place to stay," I say, wrapping my arm over his shoulder.

"What do you say we pay a visit to my house? The one I haven't been to in way too fucking long," I offer. He nods and we start walking down the road. It's not that long of a walk but it seems eternal as the sun starts to set and the sinking feeling of seeing my mom bubbles in my gut. I had promised to call her but I haven't and I'm going to get a lengthy lecture but we need a place to stay. I knock on the door and a stranger opens it.

"Hello?" The man asks, his voice deeper than I was anticipating. For his size, I would've expected a softer voice.

"I'm looking for my mom," I blurt before thinking it through.

"Matt, who is it?" My mom's voice calls from somewhere in the background.

"I think it's Frank," he yells back. I hear footsteps rushing towards the door before the man- Matt- backs away.

"Frank? Oh my God, Frank! You were on the news! There was a stabbing and I just saw you being taken out of the building covered in blood. Are you okay? My precious boy!" She shrieks, pulling me in for a hug.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't me who got stabbed and it wasn't me who did the stabbing. Ryan was the stabber and his boyfriend was the stabbed," I explain, repeating stab way too much.

"I tried calling you but you weren't picking up. I got so scared."

"I kinda dropping my phone in the blood... Can we come in?" I ask, feeling the hair on my arms freeze to the sweat on my skin.

"Oh, yes, of course. Sorry," she mumbles, moving out of the way and letting us in.

We shuffle into my house and the warmth pushes the chill from my bones away. Ryan and I sit on the couch and my mom brings us coffee.

"So what happened?" Matt asks and that's when I recall the events for what seems like the millionth time today.

I take a break from the dampening conversation to have a smoke. Everybody else stays inside which I'm glad for. I need some time for myself for a few minutes. I sit down on the steps in front of my house and watch the air take the smoke into the air. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. It's been a really fucking long day and it's not over yet. Snow crunches from somewhere in the shadows and I sigh.

"If you're going to hit me over the head again, I'd rather go willingly with you," I whisper to the figure I know is Bert. I can tell from the shadow in the ground that it's him.

"Fine but can you wear this bag over your head?" He asks in return. What a captor.

"Can I finish my cigarette first?"

"I guess."

He sits down beside me and watches as I smoke.

"Want one?" I offer. He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair. I put out my cigarette beneath my heel and follow behind him to his car. He throws a sack at me and I put it on my head once I'm in the car. It's a long car ride but it gives me time to reflect on the day that I'm having. Of course he had to come back the day that the most shit went down. I slip the ring into my pocket, remembering what happened last time.