You're a Mind Fuck, Babe

Chapter 53: The Light Behind Your Eyes

Ryan leaves soon after waking up, leaving me and Gerard to be alone. I'll have to talk to Brendon today. Actually, why should I? It's not my relationship or anything. Why bother? Maybe it'll help them though and they're kind of a cute couple.

"Can I borrow your lighter?" Gerard says, his voice bringing me back to the room where I'm sitting on the couch that is still warm from where Ryan was sleeping. I nod and pull my lighter out from inside of my pockets and pass it to him. He puts on his coat and puts on his slippers and heads outside. Approximately five minutes later, he comes back inside.

"It's really fucking cold out there," he informs me as he heads to the kitchen.

"Do you want some coffee?" He asks me as he pours himself a cup.

"Is that even a question?" I retort, he nods and pours me a cup. He walks over with the two cups of coffee in his hands and plops down beside me on the couch.

"That Ryan kid is really hot," he says, his voice calm. My head turns rapidly towards him and I shoot him a confused glance.

"Oh.. I didn't.. I meant his actual body is really hot. The couch is like a preheated oven," he explains. Gerard glances at the clock and starts looking panicked.

"Shit! I forgot I had some photocopying to do this morning. We need to go. Now!" He shouts, standing up and pulling his coat and hat on. I pick up my jean jacket and swing it over my arms and put on my skeleton gloves. I slide my feet into my boots and Gerard pulls on his sneakers.

We get to school earlier than mostly everybody else and I hang out outside waiting for more people to arrive as Gerard heads in to do his photocopying. I pull out my pack of smokes and pull out a cigarette. I hold it in my teeth as I rummage around my pockets for my lighter before realizing Gerard has it. Fuck. I put the cigarette back into the pack and scout out somebody who might have a lighter. So far the only people at school are people who don't like me or people I don't like. I wait around a couple minutes longer and my hands start to shake. Fucking addiction. I see Brendon arrive and i jog over to him.

"Brendon!" I shout after him, hoping to get his attention. He turns to look at me and he waves the crowd of people around him off.

"What do you want, Frank? Come to tell me you fucked my boyfriend last night?" He asks, pain dripping from his words.

"No, I just wanted to get your side of the story. He told me you were really upset and he was scared. I just let him sleep on the couch," I inform him, getting a little worked up.

"Yeah, right. I know you two used to fuck and I know you were only using him and I know that you were the prick who took his virginity and God I wish it had been somebody else; anybody else but you," Brendon shouts.

"I can't take back my mistakes," I sigh, knowing that everything he said was true.

"Just stay away from me and him and everything will be fine," Brendon snaps.

"Don't be a dick to him and I won't have to see either of you," I retaliate. The second after I'm done saying the sentence, a pang of sadness runs through me. I basically just said I won't see them again if there are no problems. I like Ryan.. I don't want to never see him again.

"I'll do my best," he says and walks away. I look around and see Gerard looking at me from his classroom before turning and heading away from the window. I head into the school and stop by my locker to pick up some things before heading to class. Today could potentially be the longest day of my life.

I somehow make it through the day without having to see Brendon again which is odd because he's in a couple of my classes but I brush it off when I head to Gerard's class for my last period of the day. He's sitting in his chair and there are already other people in the room so I won't be able to talk to him until after class. Dammit. I send him a glance that says we need to talk but he himself seems to be a little preoccupied. I count down every minute of the class, hoping for at least a chance to talk to him but no such luck. The bell rings and the class clears out and Gerard and I do as well. We meet back at his car and on the way back to his place, I tell him what happened between Brendon and I.