You're a Mind Fuck, Babe

Chapter 62: Some Patients Can't Be Saved But That Burden's Not On You.

When I wake up the next morning, Gerard's already in the kitchen making coffee while buttoning up his shirt.

"I should've woken you up earlier, sorry," he mumbles, acknowledging me. I look up at the clock on the wall and see how late it is. I have school today. Fuck. It's a new semester full of new teachers to hate me. I wipe the sleep from my eyes as the toaster pops and Gerard immediately starts taking the toast out.

"Fuck," he mumbles repeatedly as he burns his hand while putting the hot bread onto a plate. He slaps on some butter and takes a bite of one toast.

"Here you go," he says, his voice severely muffled, sliding some of the toast to me. He pulls on his jacket and I put on my shoes. Time to go.

-

I meet all of this semester's teachers and all we do are icebreaker activities and stupid diagnostic tests all day. By lunch time, when I make my way down to Gerard's class, I am so done with repeating my name and favourite fucking hobby. Gerard seems about 100% done with everything too because by the time I open his classroom door, he's asleep and drooling on his desk. I walk over to him and kiss his forehead before pulling up a chair and sitting with him. I really don't even care that he's asleep, I like spending time with him. His chest rises and falls perfectly in time with the ticks of the clock. I let him sleep as I look around the dark classroom. He's rearranged the desk and I feel a certain emptiness in my heart. I'll never need to come back here if I don't want to. The first place I met Gerard, kissed him and got seriously fucked by him. I spend my entire lunch hour in his classroom, watching him sleep like some weird Edward Cullen shit. I leave before he even wakes up.

I finish the school day on a low. My head hurts and my stomach's upset but at least it's over. I meet Gerard by his car and he immediately laces his fingers into mine.

"Man, I missed you," he whispers into my hair as he pulls me in for a kiss. We stay like this for a moment before I pull back and head into the car.

"I'm going to have you drive somewhere," I tell him and he just kinda shrugs.

I drag Gerard down to a local pet store and tell him to go up to the counter and ask if he can volunteer. He asks me why and I have to think for a second to decide what I want to say.

"The way to justify that you accidentally may have caused someone to take their life is that, in return, you are going to help save lives. By helping out, you're helping these animals better their lives and it distracts you. Which is like a win win situation," I explain. He nods before going up to the lady at the counter and asking about volunteering. They talk for a minute or so before she ushers him to where they have puppies in a small pen.

I watch as Gerard's eyes light up as he pets a little dog. The dog's tail wags with excitement and I can see the hurt in his eyes disappear for the first time since Brendon's suicide. She keeps talking and soon enough he's walking towards me.

"I can start tomorrow after work," he informs me.

We go back to his apartment and he just goes to sleep. I didn't protest to the idea of sleep either and found myself asleep by 4 pm.

I wake up with a headache even worse than the day before and I just want to continue sleeping, though I know I can't. Gerard's still asleep which makes me question what time it really is. I can see the sun peaking through the curtains so I pull myself up and check the time. Gerard's alarm is set to go off in three minutes. I crawl out into the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on. Gerard stumbles out of the bedroom not soon after his alarm goes off. I'm pouring coffee and his face lights up. His eyes basically are screaming 'yay. I don't have to do it.' I slide him a cup and starts to drink it slowly, testing how hot it is at first. He soon empties the cup and stumbles on back to his room to get changed. He returns with his hair looking like it's trying to run away from his head and clothes that seem like they've been worn a dozen times since they were last washed which is probably true. I finish my coffee and do the same as he did. Verbal communication is kept to a minimum the entire time until we're at school.