to the dreamers

the star of the sea

based on true events and real people... it was incredibly crazy to me when i sat down to write this poem and i realized that (1) i have known a boy whose name means earth, (2) i have known a girl whose name means ascension, and (3) i have known another girl whose name means star of the sea, and (4) i fell for all three of them.

---

i loved a boy
whose name meant
earth
once
and it was reflected
in him
the steadiness of his
voice
the calm gravity of his
gaze
and there are things i could
say about his body
that i'll keep to myself
for the time being
he held the calm serenity
of a stone by a pond
and yet he was full of a
restless calamity
like the ground
just before it
shatters

i loved a girl
whose name meant
air
once
or rather ascension
not air
but it's practically the same
she had a flighty nature
like a sparrow or a dove
and when her wings
spread
you were overwhelmed
by the beauty of her flight
she floated through my life
like a summer breeze
passing
quenching the need for a
respite from the hot sun
but only briefly
a few seconds
and then she was
gone

i love a girl now
and her name means
water
star of the sea, rather
the jewel within the tides
she's less
steady
than ever-changing
less
flighty
than ever-evolving
ever-moving
waters sweeping
up against her shores
and then away
she changes every day
as any person should
and when i think of her
sometimes
i feel small
because faced with an ocean
so expansive
it's hard not to feel
insignificant
hard not to feel like she will
someday
swallow me
drown me
in her waves

perhaps i'll love someone
someday
whose name means
fire
and it will be reflected
in them
in the burning passion
they love me with
in the warmth
they provide my
chilled hands
and aching heart
in the way they
envelope me softly
in their glorious
flame
and how i'm helplessly
drawn to them

but for now,
i will stick with
hoping
that i will always
have the privilege
of loving

the

star

of the sea.