to the dreamers

my fault

ah i love this storyline :3

---

this mess
has been going on since
may
i don't think you
get it
i've tried my best
to celebrate your
successes
have i not
done enough

what led you
to keep your lips
sealed shut
with waxen
red
you tricked me into
thinking it was
lipstick

i should've seen
the flowers
imprinted there
lilies and
dahlias
wisteria
in your hair

they grow in the
chambers
of my empty
stone heart
i don't think you
get it
you've ripped me
all apart
at the seams
like a ragdoll
and when i scream
it's your name
that i call
into the void
into the darkness
in between
moments
in all the pauses

this tryst
has been going on
since february
but this trust
was broken
long before it
it began with a snowflake
that snowballed down
with my eyes to the heavens
it's only now
that i realize
they were ashes
not crystals of ice
a warning fire
that lit the night

i don't think you
get it
how much it
hurts
because i've been
trying
harder than ever
before
and i'm not the
person
that you wanted
me to be
i see that now
but i've never been
a person
enough for me
and you turned that
all around

this is stupid
and this is cliche
it's a break in the
regularly scheduled
program
of today
but it hurts and it hurts
and this
ache
won't go away

are you happy
happy now?
darling look at what's
become of all this
love
all this life
all the fire that i've been
hiding inside
hoping the smoke signals
weren't really a
sign
it's burning down

i don't think you
get it
how much this hurts
because she took them away
but you gave back my words
and now they're
flooding the
empty chambers
through the arches
of forgotten stone
and i'm drowning
but not in alcohol
and i'm too damn numb
to feel it all
and i'm sorry because
i wanted the happy ending
we never got

darling, was it all my fault?