27: Unfortunate news

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~~~Keisha

I didn't think she was this dangerous. Why was she like this? Was that any of my concerns? She gave me what I wanted. Booker somehow still agreed to let me around the children but the children hardly ever show up and with COVID in full effect, I knew that they were probably making excuses not to come, any excuse. Why would they want to be around me? I was a horrible mother.

A horrible mother with no real patience and maybe it took Maria having to point it out. She didn't care about my feelings and she didn't care how I felt. Instead, she knew facts. She knew I was a horrible mother and I stopped at nothing to make another man's life miserable all because I still loved him. I wanted to see what he would accept from me and wouldn't. I remember how he signed the divorce paper and how he was ready to divorce me in the beginning.

Once he walked in on me and my other lover, I knew it was over. I saw the light drain from him, I saw a man lose so much of his kindness that day yet I told him I loved him and we should work this out because the full story was that Booker was too nice to me. He was sweet, charming, and knew exactly what to say to make my day better yet he walked in on me with another woman, how balls-deep inside of me she was with her strapon.

As tears streamed down his face, I saw how he walked out of the room and cried. I knew he didn't want to get a divorce but I knew he had to get away from me. I made the children think it was his fault as if he was a woman beater but he never raised his hand to me. I just decided to drag his name through the mud and I decided to ruin his relationships with other women. I wouldn't tell the children that, but I told them he was a woman-beater, that he had no problem taking things from other women and his bakery was nothing but a cheap farce. All of it couldn't be further from the truth.

I sit and cry, looking at the bible. I've been praying and talking to God. I even got baptized yet I knew there wasn't enough religion to wash away the sins in my life yet I want to believe. I want to believe I can be given a second chance. It's then that I hear a knock at the door, the first one to come in was the twins and then after that, it was Booker. The twins were frowning heavily, Booker he was okay, he was smiling for the most part. 'Come on kids, you all agreed to come,' he says, cheerfully. 'Agreed is stretching it, Dad' Booker says while looking at me, 'Why the fuck would I ever want to come here?' I see the attitude and disdain in Booker Junior's eyes, I saw him working in the bakery more and more. I could only imagine it was to pay back the money.

'Now kids, don't be like that. Your eighteenth birthday is coming back and I'm quite sure you want to spend at least a couple of hours with your mother,' he said, smiling, 'Alright. Get in there and talk to your mom,' I then see Maria as she's wearing a red sweater dress and black high-heeled boots with a black fur scarf and a black Ushanka fur hat. She was smiling, almost ear-to-ear as she saw me. She then said, 'How have you been, Miss Keisha?' "I've been fine," I say, almost at a loss for words.

'That's good,' she says. 'Well children, I hope you have fun. Your dad and I are gonna enjoy a good date night,' 'So that's why you left us over here? You could have at least given me some more shifts at work,' Booker says. 'And Ma-Maria, I have to study,' Belle says, 'You know I want to get into John Hopkins this year,' I hear what she's saying and I hear that she quickly corrects herself. She looks at me, sheepishly as she realizes that she made a huge mistake.

'I'm sorry Mom. I didn't mean that' 'Dad, I really don't want to be here,' Junior says. 'Why, son? She's your mother,' 'Because she used me and she knows why. I'd rather be with you even if you leave me in the house all day,' he says, looking at me. 'Booker, we'll talk about this later, son but you are going to go and enjoy the rest of the day with your mother,'  'Fine Dad but after this, you owe me a new Gamestation 5,' 'That's only if it comes out, boy,' he says, jokingly.

They both come in and I realize how much they don't want to be here. "So kids," I tell myself I want to be a better mother. "What do you kids want to do today? I took off work just for this," 'Well you wasted your time,' Booker says. 'Listen, Mom, it's not you,' 'Don't lie,' Junior says, 'It is exactly why we're here. It's because Dad feels sorry for her ass,' "Booker, that's not the language we use in this household," 'Oh really?' Booker says in a questioning tone, 'Didn't you use that same langue when you put me out? When you paid for a wedding that got annulled?'

"Booker, you cannot talk to me like that," 'Fine, I'll go,' 'Booker, you promised Dad,' It's then that I hear it, 'Shit,' They didn't even want to be around me. 'Yeah I promised, Dad. I didn't think he was actually going to make us do this,' 'Since when has our dad ever lied? We said we would give our mother a chance. He said he didn't want to be adults, hating our parents,' 'I don't hate her. I just don't want to be around her. She's our mother. How much could I hate her? And why would you want to be around her?'

'I never said I wanted to be around her,' My heart sank, even Belle didn't want to be around me and she saw the good in everyone. Booker then smiles a grin as he says, 'If you don't want to be here and I don't want to be here, why don't we just screw off for a bit? We'll tell our dad we really tried but we couldn't stand being around her,' Booker already had a plan devised, 'That's not what we're going to do, Booker. Mom, I hope we can have a good stay here,' I smile as I say, 'Thank you, Belle,'' 'Yeah yeah whatever she said,' Booker says.

"Thanks, guys. Do you mind if we listen to some church music for a bit?" 'Yeah, I wouldn't mind it,' Belle says, speaking for both of them. Booker is much tamer than he could be, to be honest, I heard all the nasty things he said to his father and I reveled in it but now they're directed at me and I can't stand to hear them.  I begin to put on my favorite church song, Booker's face was annoyed and Belle, well she was smiling. 'So, how's your week been?" I ask, trying to brighten the mood.

'Pretty good. I passed this test I've been hoping to pass for a long time and I've met this nice guy,' Belle says with a smile, 'He also has a sister but she doesn't like girls,' I smile and say, "Well I'm happy that you're finding someone. Hopefully, they are good to you. And what about you, Booker?" 'I don't know why you care,' he says, immediately. "I'm your mother. I'm supposed to care," 'You and I both know that's not true. If you did care, you were good at pretending mother,' Booker said. "Booker, I don't have to take this and you can leave," 'Great. I'll carry my ass to Lexington Market and eat some of their shitty food while I wait. I don't have to be here with the church bullshit. Just because you grew a conscience doesn't mean that your actions get to wipe away your bullshit,' 'Booker, you said you would try,' 'And I failed. Are you sure he's not trying to get back at any of us?'

'Why would Dad try to get back at us? You know he doesn't have it in him to be angry,' 'No one's asking you to try. I know I fucked up, Booker," "But you don't get in trouble. With the money and everything you put Dad through, you don't get any consequences.' "But" 'Shut up, fucking Keisha. You lied, you used us to lie. That's the problem, I thought our dad was a horrible person,' Tears began to stream down my face, 'Instead, he was one of the nicest men ever. He taught me so much and you robbed me of so much more,' He says, tears streaming down his face, 'I never thought I'd say this Mom but I never want to see you again. All you did was hurt Dad, me, and everyone else,' 'Booker, don't say that,' 'You know that's true. She said Dad forced himself on her, she said so much yet we're supposed to pretend that wasn't something she said?'

"I'm sorry, I know I've done horrible things." tears were streaming down my face as I watched my son point out the truth. The truth couldn't be ugly, because the truth was always the truth. It only hurts because I did this to myself. "Booker I'm sorry, I was a horrible mother and I made you do horrible things. I just want you to be able to forgive me one day." 'That's the thing, mom, we want to forgive you but how do we forgive someone who would do anything to win?' I hear Belle saying.

'I love you with all of my heart, but you did any and everything to her dad. The reason why we're even here right now is that Miss Maria said we should practice forgiveness. They wanted us to reconcile with you because Dad might be marrying her.'

Chapter 27: Unfortunate News

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