Chapter 55: A Favor

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~~~Booker

As I sat in the apartment we shared, I found myself, looking at all the boxes and all the things that were packed up. She's gone, I think to myself. She's gone and it's because of me. She's gone because I love her but I could not stomach her lie. It was the same pain I felt years ago when I saw my ex-wife sleeping with another woman.

No matter how I looked at it, the pain was all I felt and then the most selfish thought came across my mind. I wanted to be happy but I did not want to put my children at risk. I did not want to lose them, because of violence. I did not want o lost them because of anything that could kill my children. I've seen what happened to Gabriel, I saw how much of a hurt man he was when he lost his first set of children.

I saw how much this changed him and then I think of how much he did to protect him, how he was willing to die for them but is that an excuse? My children always end up short in this book no matter if I'm happy; my children end up short and I end up alone. She was a good woman, she wasn't trying to be their mother, but more of their friend.

I get up, worried about the situation. I had to get ready to leave, I had to get ready to focus on my children's recovery. Belle is still going to therapy and she is progressing well but I know she's probably going to need some more time. As I began to leave the apartment, placing the key in the now vacant apartment, I found myself missing her and everything we had together.

I found myself, thinking about her and I pulled myself together. I'm sorry, I can't do this to myself right now. As I get up, I pull myself and get ready to go talk to Belle. As I'm leaving the apartment, I see a familiar face.

~~~Belle

"I wonder where Dad is?" I say to Booker. He's not the same as he used to be. He used to be so talkative and now, he's not. He watches his surroundings everywhere he goes. 'I'm fine. Just thinking about Dad.' he says, calmly. "Why are you thinking about Dad?" 'Because he hasn't been right since then. He hasn't felt right since then.' "Is that why you're not talking?"

'I am talking. I'm just not talking a lot. I like to pay attention now, you never know when something will go wrong.' True. Nothing's going to happen, you need to stop thinking like that." 'You don't know, maybe someone gets cheeky. Maybe someone wants to try something and they can't. If it hadn't been for Maria, we could have been in worse positions.' "But remember she got us into that mess, Booker." 'She did but here's the problem. She got us out. We're alive because of her. Don't you think that's more than what a lot of people could say?'

I could see the wheels turning in Booker's head and then he simply said, 'She did get us out of the situation. She got us out of the situation and she got us into the situation but she did everything she could to keep us safe. Do you know too many people who would do that? Do you know too many people who would sacrifice themselves to keep us alive and we're not even their kids?' Hearing him say that made me think of all the time I spent with her, how she didn't see me as just some random kid and how she talked to me and helped me feel better in coming to terms with myself.

The truth is I don't know how to feel about any of this. Everything that I've gone through has only made me question more things. Maria loved Booker. She loved my dad with everything she had, that's why she put everything on the line but did she truly understand what she was doing? She had to, she loved Booker. I saw how she looked at Dad, how those two talked, and everything so why would she lie? That's when I decided to do something so stupid that I don't think it was right.

I called Maria. The phone rang for a few moments and then it went straight to voicemail. I hung up and called again, hoping she knew it wasn't a fluke, and then on the second ring, she answered. 'Hello, Belle,' "Hello Miss Maria. I wanted to talk." She sighs for a minute as she says, 'Is it to yell at me?' Hearing her say that almost made me emotional, but then I realized she was upset.

"I want to ask a favor," 'Yes?' She says. "I want you to tell me the truth." 'Okay, where do you want me to start?' "Tell me everything if you don't mind." It was then that Booker turned around as he realized what I had done. 'Weren't you the one who was advocating for something else?' He said, looking at me. "I was, but then I thought about everything you said. Maybe it's best we let them decide, but we need the truth for ourselves, don't we? We need to be able to paint our own picture. We need the truth so can you do me that favor?"

I found myself, wondering why I did this. Why did I need to know? It was none of my business, but Maria actually meant something. She didn't make it seem like our dad was carrying extra weight, she actually got to know us. Everyone always looked at Dad as if he was attractive if he didn't have all those kids but it would only ever be the two of us. Mom had luck in the dating world whereas Dad did not.

He always put us first and then I realized I was speaking this out loud. 'I didn't know that, Belle.' "But you knew how much Dad loved you, he would have accepted everything about you but what would make you want to lie to him?" The silence on the phone threw me for a loop but then Maria had no choice but to answer. It's then that she says, 'I lied to him about everything. I lied to him about who I was, I lied to you about who I was, and not only did I lie, I didn't want anyone to know who I was.'

"So, what are you really doing, Maria? Other than being a rich girl?" 'It's best I tell you in person.'

~~~Maria

As I sit there in Pear bottom's restaurant, I'm reminded why I went pescatarian. I'm reminded as much as I'd like to eat out, I need to diet a little bit more. I don't want to put on any extra weight because I liked to look good for Booker. The thing I would do for that man to hold me, I haven't had a decent sleep since he left.

Three nights and no goddamn good sleep and I hated relying on melatonin. It's then that I see Belle walking up towards the table. I look at her and I smile at her and she smiles back but it wasn't the smile I was used to. It was sad, her smile was tired just like mine. 'I'm sorry things went down the way they did.' "It wasn't your fault, it was mine."

It's then that I say, "Not to seem forward, but why did you call me up? I'm going, to tell the truth, but before I do anything, let me order two shorts." As I put my two fingers up with a twenty-in between them, I say, "This is going to be a long conversation" As the waiter walked by, he smiled as he said, 'Coming right up, Miss Maria.' As the two shots came my way, I smiled as I began to tell Belle how my life was, what I was really like. Booker knew the truth but Belle was about to know the entire history.

I see her eyes shift from disbelief to pure anger to pure disbelief. It's then that she says, 'Dad deserves to know the truth.' I said, "Yes. He deserves to know every damned thing." 'So, why didn't you just tell him the truth?' "Because I was afraid he wouldn't accept me or he would hate me." 'Is this true? Is this everything?' I smiled and said, "Yes. That's everything." 'And did you really love me and my brother? Did you love us like we were yours?'

It's then that I chuckled as I said, "Yes. I loved you two the moment I saw you. From your brother's rambunctiousness to your calm and cool demeanor, there wasn't a thing I didn't love bout your father because the second I saw you two, I knew I was going to love the whole family. The love you gave me was something I hadn't felt in years."

She smiled at me as I told the truth something that I struggled with, it was then that I called for a check. Belle then can I ask a favor?

End Of Chapter 55: A Favor

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