Chapter 41: A Lover's Quarrel

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~~~Maria

'Maria, is there something you'd like to tell me?' I hear his deep voice as he fixates on me. Those deep brown eyes, piercing into me as I then say: "Yes I do," 'Good,' I take a deep breath as I then say, "Id mean I have been..." I start stuttering, falling over my words. It's then that he takes a deep sigh as he says, 'I know you've been giving Keisha money. What I want to know is why?' I almost dropped my jaw, I don't have to tell him that yet. "Yes, I have been,"

'Why?' I hear him ask. Well, I don't know what to say. Could I tell him the whole truth? I bite my lip and then I say something, "Yes, I've been giving her money. It's because I want her to leave us alone, I say with a gasp. This was the truth I tell myself, this was the truth in a sense. 'What?' he says with his eyebrow raised. "I'm lying," I say and I dig myself a deep hole, "She's been out for you every since she divorced you, Booker," His mouth widens, "This bitch is still madly in love with you that she does everything to spite you, Booker," Why am I like this? I ask myself. 'Maria, don't turn this around,' "I'm not turning this around, I'm being honest," I love him and I'll tell him the truth some other time but right now, I want to keep living in this fantasy. "Ever since I've met you, you've been nothing but an absolute gentleman. You worship the ground I walk on, you kiss me and you're head-over-heels for me yet here she is, the baby momma from hell, trying to make your life a living hell,"

'Maria, don't turn this around,' "I'm not turning this around. I'm a very rich woman, the only thing I've lied to you about is the fact that the money isn't in my father's name, it's in my name. I've been very rich for a long time and if you want to know where the money comes from, my father was part of a huge banking clan in Russia,' Now, I'm crossing a line, I'm lying harder than I ever have before, I'm lying to him. His eyes then widen as he says, 'I'm sorry I doubted you. I just wish you would've told me,' "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to worry," 'I know exactly how she says and I'm sorry for doubting you,' he says. I put my finger to his lips and say, "I'm sorry for keeping so many secrets from you. I'll never lie to you again. I want to spend the rest of my day with you, my love,"

He says, 'We still have much to talk about,' "I know I have so much I have to make up for and I have so much I have to tell you. I'm sorry I did this to you. If you want to leave me alone, I understand but please know I'll always be here for you and I'll wait for you until you're ready," I then take my fingers off his lips and I walk out the door. "You know where I live at and I'll be there when you come back," I make one quick call to Gregor and I make my way home.

~~~Booker

I heard what she said and I love her so much but now she's made me feel strange.  What am I going to do? Initially, I was confronting her, hoping she was telling me more. Now, I'm wondering should I have really taken Keisha's word for it? She's a known liar, I think to myself. She would do these things, but I really thought she had let her feelings pass when she married her fiance. What am I going to do? I think to myself.

It's then that I hear a buzzing at my door, somebody was at the door, I wonder who I think to myself. It's been a busy morning, it's already 7:45. I turn and I see Alex. He has a group of friends at the window, 'Don't you guys know it's Corona?' I say in a questioning voice. They all pull out their masks and say, 'Yeah, but this is everybody coming to the bakery. Everyone wanted to sample our food,' I smile, happy to have a different company, and say, "Okay," I couldn't resist the customers, it's 8:30 am and a couple of people are streaming. I'm putting everything in the oven and I help Alex out, too. He didn't seem to mind me helping him out but after everything was said, we both made banana-nut muffins, cinnamon buns, pound cake and even, chocolate chip cookies along with strawberry and cheese danishes.

It was all delicious from what I heard but everyone was still baffled as to which one would be the winner. It didn't bother me if I had lost, but winning was so much better. I didn't want to lose, though. I've always been fond of winning plus it was one of the few things I could do well in my life: baking. I remember when I first taught about it from my grandmother, God bless her soul. I wish she was here to help me now, I haven't thought about her in years.

Not only was I lied to with Maria, but I was being lied to by my ex-wife, or worse yet she could be telling the truth. All of it bothers me, Maria has never lied to me that I know of but what if Keisha's right? What if there's something I don't know about her? As everyone tastes their pastries, I wait for the final verdict anxiously and it's then that I see everyone's votes. Alex was smiling as they come to a final verdict. I won.

'I'm sorry, Alex but this man is a god with baking,' Alex smiles and says, 'I'm just a beginner. Be gentle with me guys,' 'We are,' I hear a fresh-faced yell, he seemed to be quite cheeky but it was cute in its own right. It reminded me of Booker. A few minutes pass and we all begin to wrap up.

Alex shakes my hand and tells me, 'I hope we can become good business partners in the future,' As I sit there, she comes to my mind again, Maria. We wrap up and say our goodbyes and everyone leaves. A few of them even ask for jobs and I couldn't help but think that having young people available would help out. It would also be good to have some young blood around, I then see a message come on my phone, it's from Maria.

When I see the message on my phone, it says, 'Can we talk when you're free?' I restrain myself from saying anything, We did need to talk. I had to think about what I was going to say, part of me missed her so much, part of me wanted to know what she was doing all of this time and part of me knew I'd have to talk to her to get my answers. Would she tell me the truth or would she lie to me? It was a question I was afraid of asking, she yelled at me before but I felt like she was just trying to throw me off, or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she really cared about me and wants to see me do right. The only way I'll find out is if I talk to her, that was the definite truth.

~~~Maria

Is it really okay to be happy? I think to myself. He's made me happy every step of my life yet I want to ask myself is it really okay to be happy? I've lied to him and I've hurt him, leaving like this, I wouldn't expect to have someone stay with me. Yet he did not break up with me, he did not even say he hated me. Instead, he talked to me. I take a sigh and I pull a smooth breath from my white boy.

I let out an all-too-exhausted exhale as I then say: "What am I going to do?" I love him so much, I know I hurt him though. I know I did everything I could to lie, I even killed my own father, and now, I'm wondering was this all too much? Should I just let him go?  No, I whispered to myself. I deserve to be happy, I deserve this because I've worked every step of my life for it.

Why does she get to be happy? Why did she get to do everything she could to him then has the audacity to tell me I have to let him go? She should let him go. She should have been let him go yet she tried to ruin his life. At least, I'm not ruining his life. 'But you very well could,' I hear my father's voice echoing in the back of my mind, 'That's what your mother's last words to me were but I think I already told you that. How hard it must be to pretend to be the good housewife, you think you'll ever be able to keep that lie up?' My teeth ground deep into my lip, to the point that I feel something hot dripping down my chin.

'I know you love him, but you're going to hurt him and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you won't hurt him,' I thought I wouldn't feel guilty for killing my father, but I feel guilty every moment. Yes, he was a piece-of-shit but he was my father. I even had a free pass yet that's what I did. I made a choice, I know I did yet I feel guilty about it. All it took was just for me to stay away from him, that's all I had to do. Hell, I could have ignored everything and just worked it out with Booker but who's to say I would be left with any form of peace? Who's to say I couldn't figure this out?

I take a deep sigh as I stop myself from worrying about the past. Hindsight is 20-20 if we could change something in the past, we all would. It's then that I hear a faint beep, I raise up from my couch to see the message, hoping it was him. My heart flutters like butterflies as I see him and then I see his message. Then the fluttering is smashed by the words, 'We need to talk,' I dreaded this but I knew it was going to come. Me over-talking him wasn't going to work, he let me have my way but that wasn't it. I knew Booker would have something to say, I was stupid to think he wouldn't. Please tell me he's not breaking up with me.

End of chapter 41 A Lover's Quarrel

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