The Baker And The Queen Pin

29: Unexpected Surprises

~~~Keisha

I see my kids look at me ominously as the phone starts ringing. It was Belle's, I was wondering who it could be but who else could it be? She says, 'Hey Dad. Now's not a good time,' but then she says, 'What?' Did she really say it and without words, Belle hugs Booker Junior. Booker Junior then says, 'She really wants to marry our goddamn dad?' 'Yes Booker, she wants to be part of the family though he did say she's not dropping the Smirnoff. She'll just be adding a Johnson,' she says with a smile. 'Wait, she really wants to be part of this crazy family?' Booker says, 'A crazy but loving family,' Belle pipes up.

Booker then glares at me and says, 'Go on, say it. Say how you wish you hope our dad's marriage fails. Say how he pressured her into marrying him. Say something,' I force a smile on my face as I say: "I'm happy your father found love," Why did I do this to Booker? Why did I make our son so hateful? I think to myself. He didn't even want to be angry, I just forced it on him. I remember how he used to snuggle up to his father and how his father used to tell him stories while I was out, cheating. Booker then says, 'Are you really happy for him or do you hope that his life falls apart again?'

"No, I'm really happy. I wanted your dad to be happy," 'Dad also said he'd be here in a couple of minutes to pick us up,' Belle said, breaking the tension. We sit and talk some more and I can just see Booker's anger on his face. I could tell you that he wanted to be angry with me but he couldn't. I could tell he wanted to resent me even more but he couldn't, Belle wouldn't let him. She wanted this to be gone, she wanted the anger to be gone but she knew Booker had his father's temper. They both did, it's then that Belle says, 'Mom, I know you want to redeem yourself but this time, it's going to be hard. You need to understand what you almost took from Dad,' "I know what I almost took from your father," I said.

'Do you really?' Belle says, almost accusingly. I could see the anger in her eyes and then I could see it shift back into understanding. 'You almost took our father from us, Mom. You made him watch us grow up and forced him to fight every step of the way to spend time with us. Did Dad do something to you in the past?' I heard Belle ask in an honest voice, 'Did he take something from you? What did Dad do to you?' Belle was asking in such an understanding voice that reminded me of what I forced her to go through. 'You tried to destroy our father. You used me and then you used Booker. The only reason why you even got away with this was that Dad didn't press charges against his son. Do you understand how badly this hurt our father? How he couldn't do anything because his ex-wife had to hurt him in some way? You stole our college funds,' And that's when the fact hit me, I stole my children's future in an uncompromising ugly truth. I almost stole a chance for my children to have a better life.

I wasn't a teen mother by any degree, but I had an awful upbringing with the fact that my mother was. She also struggled with men in her previous relationships, I had gone through a lot with men. Seeing as I had no father but seeing what I was doing to Booker showed me that I had become just like the bitter women who say their men don't do anything for them. I made his life a living hell, my mother was right. I was going to destroy a good man and I didn't have a good reason to. I thought he owed me something, he owed me nothing.

I didn't have a good reason to hate Booker. I didn't have a good reason to make his life a living hell. Every reason I had was that he was done with me. Every time he said if you don't want to be together I'll just leave, I said no. I didn't let him go even though he asked. I didn't leave him alone even though he asked me to. Only when he saw me cheating did he truly walk away from our relationship, only when he saw another woman making love to me did he choose to walk away from this relationship, and only when he saw the look of pleasure on my face did he walk away. When he saw my face, I saw his world break and I just smiled.

"I'm sorry I hurt you guys so badly," I say to them both, "Your dad did nothing wrong. All he wanted to do was love me," I say, not being proud, "Your father gave me plenty of time to let him free and I just held onto him, forcing him to put up with me. Your dad did nothing wrong to you. The only crime your father ever committed was of loving a simple woman like myself. I love you both and I am so sorry. I won't force you guys to come here if you don't want to," Saying that broke my heart, I said something I wasn't ready to say but I knew they would never listen to me. I knew Belle was fed up with everything that happened, I knew that Booker was tired of being the thief, I saw in his eyes how tired he was of being the bad guy.