One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 30

{{could not resist updating. I love this chapter}}

The armor that Sirius had so carefully crafted with time and preparation crumbled a week into being at home.

Regulus was of no help, either holed up in his room or willingly listening to his parents rant on and on about how vile mudbloods and half breeds were. It made him sick, ill. He didn't sleep, didn't like to eat unless they were out of the house having lunch or drinks with some other pure blood couple they deemed worthy.

Despite it all, he couldn't keep his mouth shut. He couldn't not defend his friends or the people he went to school with. It earned him lovely punishment from his father, something he couldn't fight back against if he tried. Because he felt weak here, undeserving. He counts down the days, the hours, the minutes until he will be back at hogwarts.

And then one night after he snuck some dinner after everyone had gone to bed, he decided he'd had enough. It's the first time that day that he sees Regulus, when he's shoving things into his trunk. He grabs anything he thinks he will need, ignoring his brother as he asks,

"Where are you going?"

Sirius just keeps shoving things in his trunk. He leaves behind his posters of muggle women, the permeant sticking charm unable to be reversed. Clothes and shoes and books and anything he might need.

"Sirius," Regulus says firmly. "Where are you going?"

"I'm getting the fuck out of here," Sirius replies, quietly closing his trunk and latching it. Regulus looks at him like he's grown another head, the grey eyes they share widening in shock.

"You can't just leave!" He whisper yells.

"Yes I can, I—" Sirius pauses abruptly before begging, "Come with me! Reggie, let's get out of here. I can't do this anymore, I can't be here anymore. It's driving me insane."

Regulus frowns, staring at him silently before muttering, "I can't abandon our family."

"Our family wants to—"

"Our family wants to preserve purity, order. Magic. They want to preserve magic," Regulus interrupts, arguing before Sirius can even finish.

Sirius clenches his jaw and grits out, "I'm going. Are you coming or not?"

Regulus just crosses his arms. He won't leave. Maybe he can't, Sirius reasons. Whatever it is, he pulls his younger brother into a tight hug and mumbles, "If you change your mind—"

"I won't."

Sirius hugs him tighter despite his words, swallowing down uncomfortable emotions that threaten to erupt. He steps back and grabs his trunk, looking at his brother one last time before he apparates away.

It's still dark out, and Sirius doesn't know where he's going or who he's going to. He's too embarrassed to show up at James', too ashamed to admit that his friend was right. He couldn't stay at Grimmauld place. Not anymore.

He morphs into his animagus and tries to get some sleep on a park bench. It's fruitless, instead he just lays awake and waits for dawn. When it's light out he hides behind a building and transforms back into his normal self.

He pulls out the silver telescope Gwen gave him, looking at the map of stars that lay before him. His heart lurches at the colors, knowing that Hogwarts is red. And James is Purple. His eyes linger on blue.

The beach.

Gwen.

He doesn't think twice, just closes his eyes and tries to imagine the place he's pictured in his mind, the direction of the blue light that guides him.

Then he's being sucked through space, his body pulled and tugged in opposite directions, his face feeling like he's being squeezed through a small tube. He lands with a loud 'pop,' his trunk and bag clanging to the ground next to him.

Sirius is immediately greeted by the sounds of waves crashing and seagulls cawing. He looks around, glancing down at the small grass and sand covered hill he's standing on. There's green dune grass and small brown vines. It's warmer here, still chilly in the coastal air. But definitely warmer than London. Visually and physically.

He's not sure if this is right. He'd never been here before, only knew what had been told to him and where he'd been guided with his telescope. But then he sees something in the distance that makes his heart clench.

Kneeling a hundred yards away in a fenced in patch of grass is a familiar head of blonde hair. His mouth runs dry as he watches the sea breeze catch some of that hair and make it dance around her. She's bundled up in a cream sweater that looks soft to the touch even from where he's standing.

Gwen.

He starts walking, shoes collecting sand as he makes his way to the driftwood path that winds past him and to the fenced in patch she's kneeling in.

The daylight makes the sky blue and the wave caps bright white. He immediately understands why she likes it here, why it's so hard for her to both love and hate the water. It's beautiful. It's quiet.

She suddenly looks over her shoulder, and his breathing stops. Gwen squints, far enough away that he can't see her pale blue eyes, but close enough that he can hear her ask,

"Sirius?"

He drops his trunk, watching silently as she stands and brushes the dirt from her jeans. Gardening. She was gardening. His heart beats faster.

She slowly walks to the fence and opens the tiny gate, climbing up the path. She's still a ways away when he starts walking. Faster and faster until he's crashing into her, pulling her into his arms and burying his face in the crook of her neck.

She smells like the sea air that whips her hair into the wind and a flower that Sirius can't quite put his finger on. She's pure, unassuming. She holds him tight and asks over the roar of the waves crashing behind them,

"What are you doing here??"

"I didn't know where else to go," He mumbles below her ear, sending tingles up her spine. She was shocked, stunned by the sight of the boy in the leather jacket amongst dunes and hills and the wide expanse of blue. Seeing him in the distance made her heart pound and worry consume her. She quickly pulls back and checks him over, chewing on the inside of her lip when she notices a bruise on his cheek and the way he's favoring his left side.

"Come on," She says quietly, slinging his right arm over her shoulder and walking him up the path while she levitates his things ahead with her wand.