One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 46

{{this one is kind of a different chapter, but I think you guys will like where it's heading! I think that fully maturing into a creature with different magic wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows!}}

Gwen leans her forehead against her desk, the cool wood soothing her warm skin.

She feels like she's on a boat at sea, body rocking and bobbing. But she's still, it's only her mind. The waves, usually so calming, were drowning her. Even in daylight. The dreams had gotten worse, her mother's body rising from the sand to face her on her feet. She couldn't take it anymore, so she didn't sleep. Instead she studied for the bloody exams, spending every moment she should be resting with her face in a book.

The girls were trying to be supportive, Sirius and the Marauders as well. But she was too claustrophobic, too sick to have anyone near. She could only see her mother's white eyes, only hear the crashing waves.

"Gwen. Gwen!"

She quickly lifts her head, glancing at Dorcas. She smiles sheepishly and whispers, "Your charm...I think you're using it on accident."

A few male students are staring at her blankly, their eyes wide. Gwen quickly reigns it in and mumbles a quick apology, standing as soon as the bell rolls. Professor Flitwick tries to gain her attention, but she rushes from the classroom.

She feels like the floor is swaying underneath her feet. She hurries away from the crowded hall, too busy staring at her feet to see who is in front of her. She rams into them, sailing into the wall with a surprises grunt.

Hands quickly grab her arms and pull her to her feet. Grey eyes.

"Sirius," She mumbles tiredly.

"Gwen? It's me. It's Regulus." The boy sounds concerned and slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh," Gwen says tiredly. "Sorry."

She peers over his shoulder and sees several students in green and silver robes sneering at them. She feels a sudden rush of worry, saying quickly, "You should go. They'll think—"

"You're Ill," Regulus says incredulously. "Let me help you to the hospital wing."

She panics further. He can't help her, not now at least. She was honestly surprised he wanted to. She still mulled over the only conversation hey had, one that revealed that his life was anything but perfect. And that he was headed down a path far different than than of his brothers. It made her feel more sick.

"I'm fine," Gwen defends. "They're watching, Regulus. Now go."

He hesitates, staring down at the Veela nervously. She looks terrible, her skin pale and her eyes dull. She was right however, the older students already had the Dark Lord's ear. And this looked terrible for him...and made her a target. He could hear them

"Fine, but let me at least get someone to help you."

"I'll take care of it, Mr. Black."

Gwen looks up at the owner of the serene voice, flooded with embarrassment when she realizes that the Headmaster has stumbled upon them. Gwen grimaces and nods at Regulus before following the wizard. They walk slowly down the hall, Dumbledore breaking the silence first,

"Miss Whitlock. How are you?"

"Fine, Professor. Just a little tired is all."

He lets out a hum, saying peacefully, "Yes, that much is clear to me. I must extend my condolences again. Grief gets no easier with each passing year, just more tolerable."

Gwen nods, a lump lodged in her throat. He was right, 6 years meant nothing. The wounds were still fresh.

"I'd also like to apologize,"

Gwen looks at him in surprise, feeling confused as he continues,

"I know that your magic matured a great deal this year, and that it was a bit of a challenge in the beginning. I would have liked to have been available to answer your questions, but I had quite a lot of business to conduct this year."

"Oh," Gwen says quietly. "That's alright. I think I've managed to get it under control. For now that is."

She stops, her feet feeling like cement and she wonders, "business?"

Dumbledore smiles, replying, "You'll know. All in good time."

Gwen hesitates before nodding, her head still feeling like she's rocking on a boat. She pauses, leaning one hand up against the cold stone of the castle. Dumbledore asks gently,

"Miss Whitlock, when was the last time you slept?"

Gwen stares out of the old window, taking deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth. She feels sea sick, her stomach lurching.

"Recently," She responds flatly, not sure why she's even stuck here talking to the old man. She doesn't know where she wants to go, just that she wants to get away from here. She closes her eyes, trying to steady herself. She just needs to get to the common room. If she can just get to the common room she'll be okay. But the blithering old fool is still chatting next to her, though now she can't hear him. He sounds like he's underwater, his words not penetrating the waves crashing through her mind.

She finally realizes that perhaps this isn't just grief. That something may be wrong. Something feels off.

She reaches out and grabs the headmaster's arm, her whole body shaking as she forces out, "I—I don't think...what is happening to me?"

Dumbledore looks at her with concern written across his face, his mind racing as he studies the pale girl. He looks up and catches the eye of a passing student, saying firmly,

"You. Help me get Miss. Whitlock to the hospital wing."

Gwen feels hot and cold at the same time, gripping onto the arms of the student she doesn't recognize and the headmaster as they rush her down the hall. She closes her eyes. the blue of the passing walls look like sand. The beach. She just wants to go to the beach. She wants to go home, she wants her mom. She wants whatever it is that is making her feel so ill to go away.

As soon as she is passed through the doors of the hospital wing and settled into a bed, Dumbledore turns to the worried student and says,

"Find me Professor Flitwick and Professor McGonagall. Oh, and Kettleburn. Go!"