JATP ONE-SHOTS

Incorrect quotes 4

Don't know what 2 write so 

ALex: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives
Willie-I wake up at 4:30 AM
Alex-I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

—————-#

Luke: *Gets down on one knee*

Julie-Oh my god, it's finally happening.

Julie- *Falls over*

Reggie-The poison is kicking in

————

Reggie- You kill people for money?!

Luke-  I can explain!

Reggie- And all this time I've been doing it for free like a chump!

————

Alex- *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Willie- *chugs entire bottle*
Willie: It's perfume.

————

Alex-Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Willie- I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

—- —- —-

*alex and willie* are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Willie- I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Alex  deadpan: Well that's encouraging

—————-

Alex-How petty can you get?

Willie- I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

————

Willie- Surgery is just stabbing someone to life.

Alex: Please never become a surgeon 

—————

Reggie: Welcome to my very first vlog in which I will try different hair products!

Reggie: *sprays the hairspray into their mouth*

Reggie: Well, right off the bat I can tell you that this one is not very good 

—————

Alex: I relate to Belle because she loves books and likes people for who they are!

Willie-I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or she dies 

—$—$—$—

Willie- *signs a legal document with a glitter gel pen* 

————

Alex- You're a lying, cheating, piece of shit! You're not the person I married! 

Willie: Fine then! We're getting a divorce! And i'm taking the kids! 

Alex, pushing the monopoly board away from them: ...maybe we should stop playing 

Kids in other room- uh oh daddy and papa are fighting over a game again!

———-

Alex's *accidentally hits Willie in the face*

Alex: *trying to decide between saying "I'm fucking sorry" and "are you okay?"

Alex ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?! 

————-

Willie- dumping out a shopping bag full of Lunchables onto the table: Tonight, we feast. 

———

Alex: Sorry, but you're under arrest for robbery.

Willie: What did I steal?

Alex trying not to cry: My heart

Next is a heavy makeout session

————

Alex- Do you miss the imagination of childhood?

Willie-I never had one.

Alex- An imagination or a childhood?

Willie-Yes

————-

Luke-Why do you have a diary?

Reggie: To keep secrets from my computer. 

————

Willie: Rules were made to be broken!

Alex-Yeah, well, bodies weren't! 

—$——

Alex-You read my diary?! 

Willie- At first, I didn't know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book. 

——-

Willie bad at flirting: I like your name

Alex- equally as bad: Thanks, I got it for my birthday 

———#-

Alex-Do you like my outfit?

Willie: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.

Alex , blushing: W-Willie

Willie: I need your chair. Get up. 

—- —

Willie: Look, let's just agree to say "I'm sorry" on the count of three

Alex : One, two, three

Willie:

Alex:

Alex : See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us 

—— —

Willie : *dials 911*

Willie: hey i hate to be "that guy" but i glued myself to the ceiling again 

———

Reggie: *dials 911*

Reggie: hey i hate to be "that guy" but i glued myself to the ceiling again 

— — —

Here y'all go