swim || remus lupin

up for fresh air

I felt as though I was underwater. My ears popped, my eyes swelled, my skin crawled, my head ached. I tossed and turned in my bed before deciding against the nightmares and pushing aside my bed curtains.

I crept down the cold, stone steps to the common room and over to one of the plushy red sofas. Flopping down on my back, I covered my face with my hands and let out a sigh.

"Well that was a bit dramatic," I nearly fell off the couch.

"Jesus Christ, James. You scared the hell outta me," I said. James laughed.

He was sitting on the floor with his legs spread under a coffee table that held a stack of textbooks and a roll of parchment. I rose to my feet and made my way over to sit beside him.

"Behind on homework on the first day?"

He scoffed.

"Yeah, I've got loads. Who knew Head Boy would be so time consuming?"

I laughed.

"I know I've just met you 'n all, but I really wouldn't pick you as the Head Boy type. No offense."

"I know, Moony is more fit to be honest. I wasn't even a Prefect last year," he looked down.

"Well that old wizard with the long beard chooses, right?" I asked. He nodded.

"Dumbledore."

"Right, Dumbledore. He seems pretty smart to me, obviously he had a reason," James considered my words before nodding again and returning to his work.

I eyed the boy before me as he scribbled down his Arithmancy work. He was using his pointer finger to hold his place and I noted that the arrogance had fleeted him completely. He sat simply, in the most normal state I had seen him since my arrival. His handwriting was quick and plain yet careful as he dotted each 'i' and crossed each 't'. He used his knuckle to rub his eye as he reached the end of the page and closed the book. I looked towards the fire so he wouldn't know I had been watching him.

"Where did you go before this?"

"Hm?"

"Which wizarding school in America?"

"Oh, I didn't go to wizarding school," he furrowed his brow.

"What, so you're just naturally that good at charms?" I shrugged. "Did your parents teach you them?"

I looked to my hands and began pulling on my fingers. Perhaps it was the lateness of the night, or perhaps it was the fact that James resembled a smooth creek that twisted and turned with a rapid stream before cooling down by a grassy bank, but I opened up a bit.

"My parents, um, they died," he placed his quill down.

"Oh, Merlin, I shouldn't have asked," I shook my head and smiled softly.

"No, it's okay. I actually haven't talked about it in a while."

"Do you want to now?" I considered his words. It had been years since I'd brought up my mom and dad with anybody. My friends at home never asked, and I always feared upsetting my grandparents. But was I jumping too far into this? I had just met this boy. I looked up into his hazel eyes. They had a look of pure concern in them and I felt the warmth he radiated.

"It was when I was little, I don't remember much," I began, thinking back to the photographs my grandmother had shown me. "My mom, she was beautiful, she had long blonde hair and pretty blue eyes," I smiled. "And my dad, he was so kind and funny. My grandma always talks about how alike we are," I paused and took a breath. "They met here, my dad was, what's the word, like my grandparents don't have any magic?"

"Muggle-born," he commented quietly.

"Right, yeah. And my mom..." I trailed off thinking of the best way to phrase it. "Well both her parents lived in the magic world." He nodded but said nothing. "I don't know too much about her, my grandparents didn't like her much. They think," I paused again. "They think she got him killed." I looked back up at James, expecting a reaction, typically that's where the friendship ends.

"Did she?" It was a blunt question, but coming from James it was curious and comforting. I shook my head.

"I don't think so. Her ex, my half-brother's dad, I think he was upset with her. I'm not entirely sure why," he nodded again.

"How old were you?" Again, a personal question, but I wasn't even hesitant to answer.

"Four," he shook his head.

"That's terrible," I was glad he didn't say he was sorry.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a moment. After the day I'd had with Theo showing up, I felt considerably lighter, though not entirely. I had never opened up that quickly. I was suddenly a bit nervous.

"James?"

"Hm?"

"You aren't going to, like, pity me or anything, are you? I don't want to be the school's sob story," he smiled slightly but remained serious.

"Of course not. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone either," I smiled and relaxed a little. "And Syd?" I looked up. "I promise that's not the saddest story that this school's got, you're not all that special," he finished with a smile and a light shove on my shoulder.

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A/N

Sorry this is so short but I wanted to fit an update in & get some soft James content :))

I'm so glad you guys like it so far! I'm so excited to keep going, I'll try to update as much as possible.