swim || remus lupin

over again

Coincidentally, the morning that James and I spoke of the Order, Dumbledore summoned me for a brief meeting.

He presented me with the same option he did my friends: to join the Order of the Phoenix straight out of school and fight alongside some of the best wizards in the world in the most promising attempt at defeating Voldemort.

I was ecstatic that he offered. It meant that he believed in both my abilities as a witch, as well as my traits as a person. It meant he didn't think I was like my mom or brother.

I thanked him and told him I needed a bit of time to think about it, though I had already made up my mind when I left his office.

Everything seemed lighter as I trailed through the castle corridors. It was all the same, of course. Same chattering paintings, same stone paths, same blossoming flowers. But, for the first time since my arrival, the verbal abuse and growing fear didn't phase me. For the first time since my arrival, the cold fog that seemed to surround Hogwarts gave way to golden sun.

I found Remus in the courtyard where I had left him after our first Potions session. He had his thumb sandwiched between the pages of a paused book as he chatted lightly with James, a small and glowing smile rested softly on his face.

"Hi," I said as I neared the spot where the boys stood.

"Hi," Remus answered, his smile growing as he fully closed his book.

"Jimmy, guess what?"

"What?" James asked.

"Dumbledore's just asked me to join as well."

"Really?"

"Mhm," I nodded proudly.

"Squid, that's great! What did you say? You can come live with Lily and I if you want, I think we're going to get a flat together. Maybe Sirius too. And you, Moony, obviously."

"No," said Remus.

James's excited words instantly died and we both turned to face the brunette that killed them.

Remus had on a very final sort of face. His smile was gone and instead the corners of his mouth were pushed down slightly and officially. His eyebrows were straight against his skin and his eyes were entirely depthless.

"What?" I asked.

"No," he repeated. "We aren't joining."

"But-"

"No," he said again.

I felt like I had been slapped abruptly in the face.

"James could you..."

"Yeah," answered James. "I'll see you both back in Potions."

James copingly skirted off. Although he didn't seem all too content with Remus's answer, he was entirely relieved to have been asked away. Not that I could blame him.