swim || remus lupin

marlene

"Thanks, Pete," Marlene said softly.

She accepted the coffee cup and blew lightly on the liquid before taking a sip. It had been freshly made, and therefore scorched her throat. But she didn't care.

Marlene loved the bitterness of coffee. In the winter, she made a point to get up early and soak in the sharp air which contrasted so well with her blazing cup. Both the cold and the hot were such opposite emotions, and she loved it. She loved the fact that it made her feel.

Sometimes, Marlene found, she had a difficult time with it; feeling. She knew when things made her smile or frown or even cry. But rarely did the emotions circle through her nervous system. Oftentimes the feeling would register, and evaporate as quickly as it came.

To remedy this, Marlene used what she could find. Cold mornings, bitter coffee, raw alcohol, fantastic women. She found things around her that would spark some sort of reaction inside, set her on fire. She loved being on fire.

Her friends made her feel that way sometimes. When Dorcas wore Marlene's rings, when Alice said something surprisingly vulgar, when Lily got drunk, when Sirius played the piano, when Remus braided her hair, when Peter tried a spicy food, when James called her 'Mack', just like when they were kids. Little things would make her heart flare up with excitement and she loved that too.

Sydney, she realized, was always on fire. She was radiantly gorgeous, with her piercing blue eyes and soft brown hair. She was always cracking jokes, even when she definitely should not have been, and she walked through the castle with her emotions blatantly clear. If she was happy, you could tell by the crinkles by her eyes and the dimples in her fearless smile. If she was angry, you could tell by the way she furrowed her eyebrows and squeezed her palms tight. If she was sad, you could tell by the way her eyes glossed over and her face fell apart.

Not only that, but she lit people up unintentionally and unknowingly. She ruffled Peter's hair when he was feeling left out, she teased James back when he was pestering, she complimented the dress that Alice was nervous to wear, she tidied Lily's desk when she was busy with Head Girl things, she playfully insulted Sirius when he was being arrogant, and she was the first person that Marlene had ever seen Remus so breathless over.

What lit Marlene up about Syd was how embarrassingly awkward she was.

Their first morning, Marlene had called the girl 'posh'.

"Aw, don't go all posh on me, Syd." She said, and Sydney blushed.

Although she was effortlessly blazing, Syd was completely graceless. She was terrified of authority figures, she was horrible at making new friends, she could hardly hold down any alcohol, she couldn't bear to talk about her feelings for Remus, and every time Marlene flirted with her she would muster up a terrible pick up line in response. She was horrible at human interactions, and there was no saving her. And it set Marlene on fire.

Sydney didn't need the bitterness of coffee or the coldness of the morning to electrify her. She was always on, always awkward, always feeling. But, she still took part in setting fires within her friends. She still ruffled Pete's hair, teased James, tidied Lily's desk, complimented Alice's dress, insulted Sirius, tore Remus to shreds. She still sat with Marlene that cold morning, so long ago, not knowing why, not liking coffee. And Marlene loved her for it.

"Syd would have made you get her a hot chocolate," Marlene said, with absolutely no trace of fire.