Accidentally Falling | Narnia

05 | apologies

THE UNICORN SLOWED to a trot a few hours later after they crossed a vast plain (the plains of Beruna, Peter had called it) and re-entered another forest, but Susan didn't withdraw her arms from Peter's waist. Although she want nothing more than to free her interlocked arms from his waist, she didn't want to fall off from the unicorn's back. She was afraid that the unicorn might sense her discomfort (she had read that steeds often have that ability so as to connect more with their riders) and decide to throw her off his back again. Susan didn't want to take that risk. She had already embarrassed herself enough in front of this blonde-haired King that she was practically hugging.

Susan's guilt was surfacing again. She wanted to apologize to Peter but she didn't know what to say. A couple of times, she looked hard at the back of his head and open her mouth to say she was sorry for her (admittedly) mean behaviour, but she always found herself at loss for words. So she had no choice but to press her lips close and look away, brooding at her suddenly inarticulate self.

Trying to ease her feelings, Susan turned her gaze at Edmund and Lucy. They were a few feet ahead from her and Peter, laughing with Mr. Tumnus beside them. The faun seemed unfazed with the few miles they had covered. He kept talking animatedly with Susan's siblings as if he hadn't just been keeping up with them for the past few hours in his bare hooves.

Looking at her younger siblings' smiling faces, Susan couldn't help but be jealous of how well they were enjoying their ride.

Her guilt was slowly weighing her down every passing minute. She knew that if she'd still do nothing about it for next five seconds, she'd explode. So she mentally slapped herself, bit her lip hard, summoned the silver-tongued Susan Pevensie within her and said, "Peter?"

"Yes?" he replied.

"I just--" Susan swallowed. "That is-- I want to--" Brilliant, she couldn't help but think. Just brilliant, Susan Pevensie. Frustrated, the eldest Pevensie sighed. "I want to say I'm sorry."

Peter turned his head briefly to his right side to flash her a grin. His cheek sunk, revealing a dimple. "Feeling guilty, are we?"

"Yes," Susan replied, voice only above a mumble and cheeks slowly going warm. "I shouldn't have yelled at you back there."

"Yeah, you shouldn't have." he agreed.

"And thank you for saving my life." Her words were coming more quickly now and her voice wasn't squeaky and mumbling anymore. "I wouldn't be breathing over here if it weren't for you."

Peter chuckled. "Honestly, if I knew you were this annoying young lady you turned out to be, I wouldn't have risked my neck to save you."

"Oh, really?" Susan raised her eyebrows, glaring at the back of his head. If she wasn't feeling so relieved that she had finally mustered her courage to do the thing she was supposed to do in that clearing after being saved by that Minotaur without making a total fool of herself, she would have easily countered that statement of his with similar amount of snark. And also, she didn't believe a single word he just said. Though he may be annoying and cocky, Susan could see it in his face that he would save anyone because he was a good person.

"Nah," Peter answered. "You must know by now that I don't mean it."

Susan laughed. "Seriously," she said. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it," Peter replied. "That's one of my job, after all; saving distressing damsels."

"But don't think, though, that I'm okay with your mouth-clasping-and-dragging thing. That is so not okay."

"That makes you the first."

"Really? The others actually like that?"

"Well, they didn't complain about it."