Accidentally Falling | Narnia

25 | realizations

It was Edmund.

When he'd found out from Peter that Susan had left that morning with Trumpkin and twelve other dwarves for Lantern Waste to hunt, Edmund was angered. Although he believed in his elder sister (he knew she was no longer that screaming, frightened young lady Peter had saved from a Minotaur) and knew that she wouldn't have rushed headfirst to a decision without first thinking about it hard, he still worried. Didn't she know that there was a certain Witch out there bent on killing her?

When Edmund had heard a piercing sound ringing in the air from the direction of the forest, he had immediately ran to the griffin's nest situated on the tallest tower in the west side of Cair Paravel. Peter was already there and was already sending griffins towards Lantern Waste with two Narnians each, one in each talons.

"Stay here," Peter had said, without even glancing towards his direction as he mounted the last remaining griffin in the tower.

"But Susan's--"

"I said, stay here!" When he had glared at him, Edmund noticed his face had turned pale and his sky blue eyes looked almost grey in the afternoon light.

Edmund had waited until midnight. He had already tucked a reluctant Lucy to sleep hours earlier. But not him. He had consumed twelve cups of tea to stay awake. When two griffins returned, bearing Susan and Peter, Edmund immediately went to his sister's side. She was wounded. He got separated from her, however, when her nurses brought her to her bedchamber to treat her. They had convinced him she would be alright and that her wound wasn't fatal but they had prevented him from seeing her until she'd had her rest. He had tried twice to get into her bedchamber but the sentries outside her doors were firm (honestly, those two centaurs were a tad too obedient than the centaurs outside his doors.)

So, much was Edmund's surprise when he saw her in Peter's bedchambers. The son of Adam halted by the King's doors.

The both of them looked red in the face and a bit on edge. Susan was sitting by the foot of the bed, cradling her wounded arm. Peter was sitting with his back against the headboard, holding a cloth against his cheek. Water was dripping from the cloth to his bandaged arm, like he hastily pressed it to his face without squeezing out the water first. The blonde-haired King, Edmund thought, looked every bit as bruised and battered as Susan.

"Edmund," Susan's voice was high. "It's past midnight. You're supposed to be in bed."

"You're supposed to be in bed," Edmund countered, his eyes glaring at his sister. He resisted the urge to cross his arms against his chest. "What are you doing here?"

Susan fidgeted, gesturing to Peter with her unbandaged arm. "I was just checking on Peter. I was about to leave, actually, before you came."

She stood up rather hastily from her sitting position then turned to Peter. "I--" her voice trailed off. But then, she turned away, heading towards the doors and Edmund. He took hold of her arm before she could get past him.

"Hey," Edmund said softly to her. "Are you okay?"

Susan's eyes looked dazed and unfocused as she stared back at him. "I'm fine, brother."

"It's just..." Edmund scanned his elder sister's face. He took note of the various scrapes on her forehead and cheeks and the tear on her lower lip. Earlier, when he was waiting for her return, he was panicking. If it weren't for Lucy keeping him company, he knew he would have broken down. He may not make it obvious most of the time but he cares so much for Susan. Even if she was constantly driving him crazy.

Susan seemed to read his thoughts. Her eyes glinted. "Edmund Pevensie," her voice was teasing. She leaned in closer as if scrutinizing his face. "Are you worried about me?"

Edmund couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Of course I am, old Mum."

Susan smiled softly at him, causing a smile of his own to tug on the corners of his lips. He leaned his forehead against hers, his dark eyes fixed on her hazel blue orbs.

"Now," Edmund said, leaning away from Susan to look her properly in the eye again."I'm taking you to your bedchambers. And you, Your Majesty," he turned his attention to Peter. He had never spoken to the King like this before. But after stopping him from coming to his own sister's rescue, Edmund liked to think Peter had it coming. "I will be back. I want to know everything that happened. I figured you won't get some sleep tonight, anyway."

***

Oh, Ed, you have no idea.

Peter dropped the cloth he had hastily slapped to his cheek the second Edmund bursted inside his bedchambers. He felt so frustrated at himself that he resisted the urge to grab the bowl of water nearby and dump its contents down his head.

What the bloody hell had he done?

Susan's expression had been unreadable when she took her leave of him but Peter was sure she was mad at him. Why shouldn't she? He completely took advantage of her vulnerability. He completely assumed that that hug and those looks she had given him earlier meant something else. He completely stepped over the line. He completely ignored the fact that she already belonged to someone else. To his own brother.

But does she, though? The selfish part of his brain whispered to him.

Peter shut his eyes tight, drowning out the words to the back of his head.

No, he thought forcefully. This annoying... feeling towards Susan Pevensie in his chest was nothing more than just a result of a concussion courtesy of that Minotaur. He didn't know what the feeling was exactly but he knew that he would never do that to Caspian.

But he also knew, without a doubt, that if Edmund hadn't come, he would certainly have kissed Susan Pevensie.

Peter pressed a pillow hard against his face.

***

After Edmund walked her to her bedchambers and after she promised him that she won't go wander off this time, Susan went straight to her wash room and dunk her head in a bowl of cold water. She knew it might not be helpful for the various recently ointment-applied scratches and scrapes on her face but she didn't care. After drying her face, she plopped herself down on her bed, cradling her wounded arm and staring up at her ceiling, trying to lower down her racing heartbeat.

Trying not to think of his eyes and his face.

Trying to forget of wanting to kiss him.

Trying to push away the strange and terrifying feeling in her chest.

The strange and terrifying feeling that she was not supposed to be feeling.

No, she thought, shutting her eyes so tight that she could see stars. No, no, no, no. No.

She thought of Caspian. She silently prayed for him to come home. She needs him. She needs his presence. She needs to look at him, to be with him so she could make sense of the chaos erupting in her gut because of his bloody twin brother.

You're falling for Peter.

Because she was terrified. Because somehow, in the midst of all the childish fights and high velocity books in the library, her feelings betrayed her.

You're accidentally falling for Peter.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

"For love can exist with hatred, each preying on the other, and this is what gives it its greatest fury." - T.H. White, The Once and Future King.

Just couldn't resist sharing one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite books. 😁