Accidentally Falling | Narnia

24 | regrets

The moment Perdian and Asher left the room, Susan immediately switched her attention (not that it left Peter ever since she step foot in the room, not entirely) from the direction the two healers had gone to the wound on Peter's arm. He had a chunk of bandage covering the wound and he had his hand resting over it.

Susan's stomach twisted.

"Now, let's see about that wound," she said in a playful but bossy tone, trying to control her urge to cry.

The moment she saw a glimpse of him by the door, Susan immediately wanted to break down. The sight of that bruise on his face, that wound on his arm-- she just wanted to crawl into the nearest closet, cry, and slap herself for her stupidity.

But she couldn't find it in herself to leave Peter's bedchambers. When she found herself taking the towel from Asher's hands and volunteering to do Peter's bandaging even though her knowledge in bandage was next to zero, she knew that it was the least she could after her reckless behaviour.

And also, she wanted to take care of him, too. Not because he had just saved her life but because she just wanted to.

And she mentally cursed herself because she couldn't even start to explain to herself why.

She sat down beside Peter on the bed. She took hold of Peter's wrist and tried to lift it off his covered wound but he resisted.

"Su," Peter started, slightly moving his arms away from her. "I'm really--"

"Give me that 'I'm-fine-and-it's-not-even-bothering-me' phrase again and I'll kill you," Susan interrupted.

She felt like a hypocrite for saying that but, at the moment, her emotions were overruling her thoughts that she didn't realize what she was saying until she had said it.

Their eyes met.

For a few moments, Susan thought Peter wouldn't give in. That he would tell her off and command her to leave the room. That he would rub it on her face that it was all her fault that he was in that condition in the first place. She knew she was being stupid for ever thinking that Peter would do it but she wasn't really thinking straight because her emotions were all in a jumble.

But then Peter thrusted his arms slightly towards her direction.

Susan removed the chunk of bandage from his wound. She took a sharp intake of breath upon the sight of the gash.

You did this, she thought.

When Peter touched her bandaged arm, Susan almost jumped out of the bed.

"Does it hurt?" he asked softly.

Susan chuckled softly, shaking off her head. "No. It stings from time to time but-- it doesn't hurt that bad now."

She reached for the roll of bandage and ointment on Peter's bedside table. She placed a bit of ointment on her finger and started to dab it gently on Peter's wound, biting her lip to stop her fingers from shaking.

When she finished, she looked up and found Peter staring at her.

Susan's stomach twisted again. But this time, it wasn't because of the guilt.