Accidentally Falling | Narnia

32 | swordfights

After another exhausting (but quite satisfying) afternoon decapitating dummies with her bow and arrows, Susan trudged into her bedchambers and headed straight to her wash room to prepare for a hot bath.

Not that she was really exhausted. Practicing archery, reading in the library, wandering around the castle's gardens, and walking by the shore down by the beach were the only stuff she could do in Cair Paravel because Freesia forbade her and her siblings to do anything close to chores. At first, the Pevensies ignored these directions and proceeded to help around, especially in the kitchens. The three of them were literally trained in household chores after living with their Aunt Alberta and Uncle Harold and after that with Professor Kirke (not that the dear Professor gave them chores; it was the old housekeeper, Mrs. Macready) so they don't mind the work. But Freesia actually got mad at them and threatened not to give them any meals for a week.

Susan knew if Edmund had grown up under Freesia's care, he would have no idea how to wash his underclothes. She began to wonder how Peter and Caspian didn't become irresponsible adults during these last two years.

Susan's stomach clenched involuntarily at the thought of Caspian.

She was wrong. She had thought confessing to Peter might finally put her feelings at ease. That her chaotic emotions might be unraveled. And that she would be ready to face whatever consequences might arrive for her and Caspian once she'd said the four letter word to the Magnificent King.

But the truth was... right now, she was afraid. Everytime she wasn't distracted, dreadful thoughts occupied her mind. Strong surges of guilt were eating her up from the inside.

Because... Caspian. And her strong feelings for him. And that he had left for Lone Islands thinking he has her heart.

Well, he did have her heart. But now, a month later...

Susan never wanted to hurt him. She would never ever intend to hurt him. So what would she tell him once he return from his voyage? How could she say to him that she fell inlove with his twin brother while he was gone? How could she tell him that she felt torn between the person she had wanted very much to strangle once upon a time and the person she fell inlove with at first sight?

Susan threw her body to her enormous bed, fighting the urge to scream. How did she come to this? How could her life be so ridiculously complicated? During her sixteen years of existence, she had always thought she'd grow old alone. Most of the girls her age back in her world already have someone to take to school dances and parties with them, unlike her. Yet now...

Why couldn't she just have said the four letter word to Caspian when he had confessed her feelings to her that afternoon in the garden? Why did she just have to accept Peter's offer to dance that night? Why...

Why did she just have to fall for that blonde-haired King?

That blonde-haired King who could always steal the air out of her lungs everytime he'd look at her with those piercing, alluring blue eyes. That blonde-haired King who could always make her shiver without warning. That blonde-haired King who was her first ever kiss yet... she didn't want any other kiss ever again.

A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts.

Susan opened her eyes; she hadn't noticed she had closed them. She heaved herself up from her bed and opened her door. She was greeted by the kind and smiling face of Lydia, one of her ladies-in-waiting.

"My Lady," Lydia did a little curtsy then held out a small rolled-up paper. "His Majesty, King Peter, asked me to give this to you."

Speaking of the blonde-haired King...