Chapter 31 - Chase

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Chase's POV

"Chase?" Diego's concerned voice echoes from the phone. "Chase! Listen to my voice okay? Do you think you can turn on the video for this call?"

Though Diego's voice is laced with worry, it is also affirmative yet tender. Despite my increasingly blurry vision, I somehow manage to pick up the phone in my trembling hands. I squeeze a few shallow breaths into my lungs and fumble to press the button.

Diego's charming face instantly greets me; it is calm and composed but I can see the panic in his eyes. "Listen to my voice, little lamb. Just focus on me. I want you to take deep breaths with me okay?"

Diego's face seems to fade out of existence as my mind is overpowered by painful memories. I try to respond to Diego's reassuring voice but all that comes out is a little squeak. "You're not in any danger. It'll be alright little lamb. I'm going to start counting. Breathe with me."

"One, In... Out..." My body is trembling like a leaf. "Two, In... Out..." I see the yellow tulips that Mike got me on our final date. "Three, In... Out..." I push Mike away as he starts pushing me past my limits. "Four, In...Out..." I see Mike's smiling face morph into one of apathy. "Five, In... Out..." Diego's concerned face overlaps with the images of Mike.

"Six, In... Out..." Mike's image fades leaving only Diego's face. "Seven, In... Out..." I see Diego's pointed nose and sharp jawline. "Eight, In... Out..." Diego's tranquil voice comforts me. "Nine, In... Out..." Diego's chocolate eyes reassure me, letting me know that I will be alright. "Ten, In... Out..." My breathing starts to return to normal.

"I'm here Chase, you're not in any danger. Breathe." Diego says, in a steady voice. "You're doing so well little lamb."

I take another shaky breath, trying to focus solely on the kind and caring man staring at me with concern and affection . "I'm okay," I whisper, trying to steady my breathing. "Just talk to me," I squeak. I still feel like I'm too close to the verge of a panic attack and I need some sort of distraction.

Without missing a beat, Diego starts talking. "I wasn't always great at public speaking, in fact the first speech I ever gave was actually the vote of thanks at my high school graduation. I was so nervous, my palms were sweaty and I felt like I was going to be sick. Now, I'm in the graduation hall and the whole ceremony went smoothly, everything was perfect." As I am focusing on Diego's voice, my lungs are slowly letting more air into them and my trembling body begins to still.

"As I was walking up the stairs, I turned to look at the crowd and they were smiling at me which really boosted my confidence. I smiled back and looked towards the podium. Just then I tripped and fell face first on the platform. I was mortified!" Diego says, momentarily covering his face in embarrassment which makes a tiny smile appear on my face.

"But I quickly stood up and continued towards the podium. I mean I had a speech to give and I had practiced it for weeks. So I reached into my pocket to pull out my speech so that I could reference it while talking. But guess what?" Diego asks, his chocolate eyes wide and filled with horror.

A tiny giggle escapes me. I'm now completely engrossed in what he's saying and my mind is no longer trying to attack me with horrifying flashbacks.

"My speech had flown out of my pocket and was now lying on the ground, in front of the first row!" Diego exclaims and I giggle and the ridiculously shocked expression he is wearing; like he himself still can't believe what happened.

"Then what?" I ask quietly, sitting back on the couch and wrapping a blanket around my shoulders.

Diego smiles before he continues and I can see that the tension and panic that he was feeling a few minutes ago is gone. "I moved to the edge of the stage and opened my mouth to ask someone to pass me the paper but then someone in the audience let out a horrified scream."

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