One of the main reasons why people are hesitant to talk about their personal experiences is because of negative judgment. You may have heard these phrases at some point:
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Stop lying!"
"You should have stayed put!"
"That's what you get for [insert dumb reason here]"
"Maybe you did something wrong."
If only others would try to listen without throwing in unnecessary assumptions, things could have been resolved better.
Blaming the actual victims of abuse or harassment for not handling their problems well misses to look at where they're coming from. It didn't help that they're thought to have done something to deserve this trash behavior and just making this up to seek attention.
Let's say a kid falls into despair because his teacher at school was very abusive and he also has to deal with bullies. When he tried to report these incidents, he is met with scrutiny. Because his teacher happens to be a family friend and the bullies come from respected families, he felt powerless.
Another case is mentioning how the girl shouldn't be wearing a short skirt and walking alone if she didn't want to get preyed on by perverts.
Let me tell you something. It is only right for the kid to do something and feel bad when he is getting bullied. Whatever the girl is wearing and wherever she went shouldn't warrant sexual harassment.
It isn't fair that the one who actually deserves justice has to suffer for something out of their control. Is it so hard to give helpful advise instead of criticizing them as if they committed a crime?
Blaming the victim doesn't solve anything. It only makes things worse for everyone. Try to listen and be considerate.
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