The pandemic has surely been isolating for many of us. Our only solace has been the Internet and that is where we get to connect with other people, may it be their real-life friends or strangers online.
For those with social anxiety, mental struggles or who are lonely in real life, it felt a lot easier for them to speak their minds and find like-minded circles based on their profiles. The problem is we tend to forget certain boundaries and start regretting about a post you've made later on.
Now, we shall break apart the difference between "oversharing" and simply being genuine:
What is considered "oversharing"?
Depending on whom you ask, "oversharing" can mean different things. To me, it could be revealing your full name, address, phone numbers, every identity of people you may know and also showing where you regularly work.
You also constantly talk about your personal problems which should be kept private (e.g. that ugly rash on your back, a drunken selfie, your rant about your manager/teacher) or discussed with a limited number of people you could trust.
This applies to both online and offline. The problem is you could draw in the wrong crowds. Think about how scary it is if a stranger near you suddenly figures out where you live.
So why do people "overshare"?
• Social anxiety, ADHD/ADD (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder / Attention Deficit Disorder), BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), being neurodivergent
• Seeking validation and wanting to prove something due to insecurities
• Most likely due to neglect from a young age
• A person happens to be at an age who doesn't know any better yet (like a ten-year-old with easy access to the Internet without supervision).
But what about "being genuine/authentic"?
You may know a public figure (e.g. some beloved writer on Wattpad) who is open about their personal experiences, ideas and worldview.
For example, a lot of speakers on TED-ED try wording their stories better without disclosing anyone's identity. With the Internet, one can easily open up about themselves anonymously.
Being authentic means you're staying true to yourself while still holding boundaries.
How To Stop Oversharing:
1) If you're online, try logging out of the app and take some time off. Once you've calmed down and organized your thoughts straight, you can come back.
2) Try writing your thoughts on a diary. Make sure you're the only one who can see it.
3) Stay calm. In case the conversation got awkward and personal that could trigger you to overshare, take a deep breath and frankly tell them how uncomfortable you are (e.g. "I'm sorry, but I want to keep my career and relationship private so hope you understand!).
4) Talk to someone you could trust. It could be a family member, teacher or a therapist. It could also be a quick private message to an online friend.
5) If your guts tell you that it's not ok to post about something, then don't! Think about how your parents, friend or other neighbors would feel if they saw it.
6) Think about why you're oversharing: Is it because I wanna educate people? Give insights on a similar dilemma and make them feel less alone?
YOU ARE READING
Doc Express The Cat (Essay On Everyday Topics)
Random"Nobody wants to be talked down. Even at a young, people can already think for themselves. All they want is for the grownups to listen and be open about discussing complicated issues (e.g. growing up, relationships, mental health, culture, beliefs)...
