Author's Note:
This chapter may reference themes which could be triggering to some individuals. Take everything I say here with a grain of salt.
•••
People are social beings by nature. No matter who you are, we always want to connect with others in some way. This is where the idea of support groups comes in.
To those wondering, they're kind of having buddies or family who are supposed to comfort you. You may see them online which often go by names like "Wholesome Fam Community" or "Rainbow Friendship Squad (NO TOXICITY PLEASE)."
Now, I want to share my personal thoughts on this concept.
1) You can only have a few support and that's ok!
This makes it easier to hear different opinions and advice. You don't risk loosing your own voice in the crowds. The most important thing is to surround yourself with the right people - family or friends - who could understand you.
2) Some other groups can turn into a pity contest.
Let's say a friend confides with the group about their messy home life and have no clue what else to do. Then, another friend starts crying and turning the conversation to her "divorce-then-turn-homeless" story.
This is why we hold activities for kids to sit in a circle and hand the ball over the next person ready to speak up. It's alright to share your own stories as long as you're able to correlate it with the other's perspective (e.g. "I also experienced something similar and hopefully by doing this, it can help you as well.)
3) There are instances of victim-blaming, indifference and other toxic behaviors.
"Just move out and get a job." "You live under your parents' roof so deal with it." "I'm just a high schooler flipping burgers so I can't help." "Why don't you call for help?"
It's this kind of attitude that discourages others from reaching out. Let's not forget that some would even assume you must be at fault for your own circumstances and get unfair judgment. If you get upset, they may wonder why you would bother talking about it.
Before making a response, try understanding the other person's POV. How do you suppose a kid living in a poor neighborhood is gonna move out? If the kid does happen to have any disabilities/health conditions, are there any decent resources and programs for anyone like him or her? Who is to blame here, exactly?
4) Avoid asking too many personal questions which the person may not feel comfortable responding to.
We also must respect those who chose not to disclose everything. Some things are either saved for the right time or just better off left unsaid.
When you're online, people can get pretty nosy and start asking for your age/background/screenshots until they could even believe you. It's another way of saying "Everyone on the Internet is a liar so I'm guessing you're one of them, too. Unless you have clear evidence, I won't believe you."
(NOTE: Folks, you don't have to share everything. Take care of yourselves and stay safe!)
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Random"Nobody wants to be talked down. Even at a young, people can already think for themselves. All they want is for the grownups to listen and be open about discussing complicated issues (e.g. growing up, relationships, mental health, culture, beliefs)...
