not in the same way || c.h.

12

  I haven't seen or talked to Calum in a couple weeks. I missed him, and I hated that I missed him because I felt like I shouldn't miss him.

  Yeah we were friends but we weren't that close really. He didn't know every single little thing about me and I didn't know anything about him. Actually we barely knew each other at all. So why did I miss him walking me to my car or talking to me during my shift and making his cocky comments?

  I don't know. But I tried not to miss him, and I pretended like it didn't bother me. Heather and Carol would ask me questions about him at work and I had to force myself to pretend I didn't even notice he hasn't come in. He hasn't even come to his classes either. I literally haven't seen or heard of him at all.

  So here I was on a Wednesday afternoon at 4:28, not expecting much. Work has been so boring without him. My friends come in sometimes, and Cole does too when he gets a chance, but it isn't the same.

  Since Calum hasn't been coming in it's been pretty boring for me. I still talked to Heather and Carol and some other coworkers all the time, but I don't know.

  Luckily Heather was having some boy and family drama so that gave us a lot to talk about. Obviously it wasn't a good thing, but you know what I mean.

"Look who decided to come today." Carol said and pointed out towards the door. I followed her finger and saw Calum leaning against a pole smoking a cigarette. His back was facing me, which meant he couldn't tell that I was looking. So I quickly looked away just in case he happened to turn around. 

"Are you alright to mop everything?" Heather asked as she walked out of the employee room with all of her stuff.

"Yeah you guys go, I'll see you tomorrow." I said and went to the kitchen to get the stuff so I could mop the floors.

"Don't forget to lock the door." Carol called out and followed Heather out of the door.

  I quickly mopped the kitchen when they left. Then I mopped the bathrooms and the little hallway that led to them and the kitchen. As I made my way to the seating area to start mopping I felt someone grab my hips and press me up against the wall. It caught me really off guard and scared me until I saw that it was just Calum, but I was still confused.

"What are you-" I started but then got cut off by him slamming his lips onto mine. At first I was really confused and almost pulled away, but then I just couldn't help but melt into him. He tasted like mint, despite the fact that I just saw him smoking a cigarette. Which means he definitely planned this out, well obviously.

  His lips moved slowly yet desperately over mine, almost as if he's been waiting forever but wanted to really take it in and feel it. He slid one of his hands from my hips to the small of my back and pulled me closer to him while also pressing me further into the wall. I shouldn't be doing this right now, we were both with other people, but he was just so intoxicating that I couldn't stop.

  Once he had finally pulled away so we could actually breathe, we just looked at each other and caught our breaths. I slid my arms from behind his neck onto his broad and strong shoulders while he kept his on my hips.

"What the hell was that?" I asked through my breaths since one of us had to say something at some point.

"I couldn't hold it in anymore." He said breathlessly and held absolutely no regret on his face.

"Calum I have a boyfriend, and what about that girl you were with?" I said and crossed my arms over my chest after taking his hands off my hips. He held a look of confusion for a second, I couldn't tell why he was so confused though.

"I was never with her, it's a long story and it's not important but I don't want her. I want you, and I have since the moment I laid my eyes on you in the park." He said and I crossed my arms and held my hands in his carefully.

"I have a boyfriend Calum, and I just cheated on him with you." I said and then widened my eyes once it processed in my brain that I was a cheater. I never wanted to be a cheater, I actually despise them. And now I am one and I feel disgusted with myself.

"Oh my god. I cheated on Cole." I said but he didn't seem to care that much.

"Break up with him, then it won't matter and I can still kiss you and touch you." He said and put his hands back on my hips with a slight smirk on his lips.

"Calum he's been my boyfriend for two years nearly, I can't just break up with him." I said with a raised voice and walked away from him.

"But you can cheat on him? Cheating is a lot worse than just breaking up with him. And clearly you don't love him as much as you think you do if you just kissed me. And you weren't even the one to pull away, I did!" He said and progressively got louder with each sentence. I just stood there and looked at him while I thought about it.

  He's not entirely wrong. I can't possibly love him if I just cheated on him. You can't claim you love someone and then cheat on them. I loved him at one point for a really long time, I know that much. But I guess I stopped and didn't realize it.

"Break up with him." He said and took a couple steps closer to me. He was practically begging me at this point. Before he had confidence, but now he was begging.

"I don't know anything about you. How can you tell me to break up with my boyfriend for you when I don't know anything?" I asked and he just sighed and looked down.

"I can't tell you anything." He said softly and shook his head.

"You can't tell me a single thing about you? Not even your family or where you're from?" I asked and he just pressed his lips together and shook his head.

"Why can't you tell me anything? You can't expect me to break up with my boyfriend for you if you won't tell me who you are." I said with frustration clearly present.

"I'm doing it to protect you Brenna. I seriously can't tell you." He said with a somewhat sad look on his face.

"What could possibly be keeping you from telling me about your family or anything about you? Why did you even talk to me or any of that if you can't tell me a single thing about you?" I asked and raised an eyebrow at him.

"I don't know, I just saw you at the park with your brother. I was having an awful day and I just saw you and you completely distracted me from everything the rest of the day. You hardly said anything to me but you were all I could think about until I saw you the next day, and then it was the same exact thing. I don't know why I did this to myself or you, because I know you'll get hurt if I tell you anything but I won't let myself put you in that position." He said and kept a decent distance between us.

"How could I get hurt? You telling me about yourself couldn't possibly hurt me." I said and walked closer to him but he just stepped back.

"You will, and I can't be the one that does that to you." He said and shook his head.

"I want to know you. I don't care if you think I'll get hurt, I want to know you." I said and looked up at him.

  He stood there for a really long time just thinking. He kept his eyes glued to mine but he didn't say anything. I could tell he was thinking by the look on his face, about what was a mystery to me.

"What are you doing this weekend?" He asked and took a couple steps closer to me.

"I spend my weekends with my brother." I said and looked up at him in confusion.

"We need to get away. If you want me to tell you anything then we need to go far away from here." He whispered and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Why?" I asked with a bit of fear in my tone.

"They can't know I'm telling you."