Unpredictable Match 2

Thirty Three

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Cameron POV

Having to stand here and watch Ant leave is more upsetting than I had anticipated. I've been preparing myself for this moment since the day I found out about his mental illness, but there is only so much preparation one can do to genuinely feel at ease while watching their husband leave to another state, much less than a month since he was released from prison. Voluntarily at that. And he's taking our son as well which doesn't make this any easier.

I know this will be nothing like it was when he was in prison. There will be calls, texts, and a lot of visits, of course I know that. But since he's gotten back, Anthony out of my sight triggers my anxiety and I think that's because I always feel like he's in some trouble or something. With him all the way in Virginia I know there will be no way I have access to him 24/7. Of course I'm used to that—not having access to him, but after being able to be in contact with him for the short couple of days that I was, I don't know how I was managing to function without him being with me. I really don't know.

But, I know this is something that has to happen, for us but more importantly for him. I want nothing more than for Ant to be happy and healthy and I know that he's far from that, with or without me. So this is important. At the same time...I cant pretend that I'm not ridiculously sad. The crying type of sad, but today I'm not gonna cry. I'm suppressing my tears because I don't want or need to be the one who is being comforted while Anthony is literally the one who has to leave.

"Aight," Anthony shuts the trunk after Aj put his suitcase in there. Aj doesn't waste anytime standing around or saying goodbye, instead he opts for getting into the backseat of Anthony's car and closing the door without saying a word. I feel relief when Anthony dismisses Aj's actions and moves on to say bye to Taleah. Honestly, anything Aj does, I'm scared that it is actually something disrespectful that has gone unchecked which would make Ant react in a negative way, so when Aj does things like slamming car doors, or even like yesterday, throwing things around, I do fear how Anthony is going to correct that behavior since discipline is another reason for him taking Aj.

Ant pulls away from Leah then kisses her head, "Love you. I be back in a couple weeks to visit." He reassures then kisses her again. I know in this case Anthony and Aj are the ones doing the move, but Leah is really upset about all of this. She was speaking to Anthony yesterday when Aj was gone and said everything she was feeling, which included feelings of sadness, anger, and suspicion. She told Anthony that it wasn't fair that he was leaving us after promising that he's not going anywhere anymore, and she was feeling like he doesn't want to be around us which is why he opted for a therapist in Virginia rather than in New York.

When she was saying that, Ant surprisingly didn't get cold or annoyed. He was actually very patient with her and reassured her that he will be back as soon as he can. He also explained to her why he couldn't be in New York with us too, just in a more watered down way than he told me. At the end of the entire conversation between them, Leah was still upset but she was more understanding which I understand because that's exactly how I feel too.

Anthony says bye to Tyler and Zaniyah then he approaches me being that I'm the last person he's saying goodbye to. I smile at him while he comes in for a hug, but when his arms are finally embracing me I feel my smile slowly drop. The speed of my blinking probably looks so ridiculous right now, but it's doing the job of keeping these tears in my eyes so it'll just have to do.