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I felt frozen. I was still huddled next to JJ, his warmth a numb feeling in my body. The wait for help felt incredibly long however in reality, in real-time, when a girl wasn't watching the boy she had feelings for in pain, it was pretty fast.
When help arrived and they asked which of us was going to go with him, Sarah was the one to shoot up and insist on going. I really didn't have the energy to fight her and I kept quiet as I watched them put the boy on the stretcher and into the ambulance.
Sarah's blonde hair waved as she jumped in behind him, her hands instantly grabbing onto his. I let my eyes close, reminding myself that John B would've probably wanted that anyway.
The drive back to Sam's made me feel sick, I just wanted this night to be over. I sat, still leaning on JJ, the boy rubbing mindless circles on my back to help calm me down. Everyone was on edge.
"Hey! I heard something happened out at Hawks Nest" Sam yelled as he ran from the house to meet the pogues.
"Topper pushed him off, I'm not sure what else happened. Sarah was pretty messed up when we got there" Pope told the boy as they walked into the house. Their voices disappeared behind the door.
JJ and I slowly made our way into the house and down the hall to my room, Kiara close behind. Pope didn't take long in the kitchen with Sam either. All of us just ready to put that day in the past.
The pogues were talking about John B and what they thought was going to happen, at some point, I just blocked their voices from my head. I felt suffocated.
When I realized I had left the room, my steps had already brought me to the back deck. The cool breeze made my dress flow around my body. I took in the fresh air, trying to get John B off my mind. Just long enough for me to relax a bit.
I walked out to the dock, the grass cold on my bare feet. I watched the water, the glimmering light bouncing off of it. I felt calmer by the water, the moment reminding me of a few nights prior after we got back from the graveyard. My eyes fell on the dock next to mine, the one in John B's yard. I watched the spot we had stood as if to try and see us there.
My brain almost didn't register Kiara's footsteps as they got closer to me, the girl making her way over. "Hey" Her voice was hushed, almost a whisper.
"hey" I let out, my eyes shifting to the girl who just sadly smiled at me. "how are you doing?" Kiara asked and as if that were some kind of code to lift the floodgates the question made me start to cry.
Kiara placed a hand on my back. "Was he really with Sarah, like mackin' on her? I asked, mocking what JJ had told us. "uh, yeah he was," Kiara said to me, and I could feel my face drop as my stomach did too.
"I don't even know why I'm that upset about it. It's not like me and him were dating or anything." I started and moments from the night we spent together flashed in my mind, a tear slipping down my face.
