36 - Pulled

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We'll get you back, Jimin.

We'll get you back.

We'll get you back

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"Let me go!"

Jimin's voice is hoarse from yelling. He slams the iron bars in front of him over and over again with bruised fists, each burst of pain a reminder of his own weaknesses and faults. "Someone, PLEASE!"

Somewhere out there his friends are probably fighting for their lives against Freedom Academy. And here he's sitting miles away, unable to help, surrounded by unforgiving stone walls so far underground it's like a different world from the surface of Earth. There's nothing to see by except for the bleak, flickering, fluorescent light in the hallway beyond his cell door.

It hurts to breathe.

The murky scent of earth, pervasive and looming, sickens him. It's a trigger that sends his fight-or-flight system into overdrive which the guards know only too well.

"Help..." Jimin's eyes well up with tears. He hadn't planned on crying, crying was weak, but now he's getting so desperate that he can't keep his emotions in anymore. "Please..."

He knew this would happen. He sent the letter knowing he'd end up here again.

But was it worth it?

Of course it was worth it. Jimin shakes his head. Why am I doubting that now?

Shaky breath in, shaky breath out. He wraps his arms around his knees and rocks himself back and forth on the wet floor, shivering from cold and nerves and panic. He swallows, lost for words.

It was worth it, it was worth it, it was worth it.

He chants the phrase like a hymn, a lifeline floating on the insanity threatening to drown him and never let him out again. It's the only thing that keeps him going.

But now I'm back here again, a part of him sneers.

It was worth it, it was worth it-

I should've just followed the Commander's orders.

It was worth it-

Did the letter even go through?

It. Was. Worth it.

Jimin covers his ears, grounding himself. He can't afford to lose this inner battle now, that's exactly what the guards want. He won't give in, he'll never give in, he's strong enough, strong enough, strong enough...

He works through his thoughts. As the hours pass, the hatred inside of him simmers into a fiery inner resolve.

And hours later when a guard finally stops at his cell door, Jimin doesn't even look up - he knows better this time, that the guard is a decoy meant to give false hope and then hurt him more. Jimin is stronger than that.

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