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Role Play Stress

Okay...I'm going to be honest, I'm not doing good. 

Friends- Ik- I lied to you...you always ask how I'm doing and I tell you good.. 

I lied...I'm sorry..I just-

I didn't want to bring anyone into my problems but I'm seriously about to break down. 

How- HOW!? Family members died- I couldn't cry...

but all the sudden- when Maize (My cousin's fake name for her privacy) leaves me for her friends, I all the sudden have to stop myself from bursting into tears?? 

This has only happened today. I don't think she realizes- since it's been months....but..I'm dying. 

I'm slowly becoming more aggressive...and I just want to become emotionless. Emotions are pain...

Now....off track. 

Roleplaying.. 

I love it! It makes me really happy... but- 

also frustrated. Okay, a lot of people hate Sin. I get that- It's a horrible creature. but have you ever stopped to think what has happened to it? What it has gone through? Or even what it's seen and heard? 

You know- Sin died as a 7-year old kid. How? It was hung and beaten while hanging by it's brothers and father. Sin was killed for being non-binary. 

Blame Sin, Dreams, Scythe- ANY ONE OF MY OCS ALL YOU WANT- but keep in mind....THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT 'AFFECTION' OR 'KINDNESS IS- 

THEY HAVEN'T BEEN RAISED THAT WAY- 

Sin has been raised in a abusive household....

It doesn't know how to deal with problems normally because that's not how it was raised. It was raised to hurt people when it wasn't feeling happy.

Yeah, your oc may have been nice to it all the time, but do you really think thats going to change how it acts? For example, Lucky (KittyCatAngel4444's oc) was nice to it. Sin hates humans and scientists because of how it was tested on. Did you know Spirit was actually all pale rainbow colors before? Well, she got shocked so many times that all color was drained from her. 

Dreams is a really hated one. Dreams was a kid terrorized by Sin. So badly that it killed itself and is now stuck in the cursed body it has. 

Tranquil. Tranquil has been abandoned so many times. You know...when a kid is a jerk, that's most likely a cry for help. 

Kids don't understand how to express their problems unlike adults. 

Tranquil is SUFFERING. He is too young to figure out how to get help- He is stubborn...he won't admit he is sad and needs help. 

Like Confetti and Traitor. They are stubborn and won't accept help even though they are suffering. 

Confetti has been taught that he needs to kill to get what he wants...

Okay- so in an rp with ClownytheClown and KittyCatAngel4444 Sin became overly obsessed with Clowny. Clowny got scared of it, which was reasonable. When Clowny left it for Foxy......Sin was heartbroken, crushed...

That killed Sin's trust. In fact, Sin doesn't trust anyone enough to open up about it's problems because it has been left so many times. 

Anyways...There's my roleplay stress ehehe- 

I'm still thinking about that vent...