IT'S ALWAYS YOU✓ (BOOK 2)

Twenty One: Strangers

Cray's Point of view

Even how many time I should tell my self to endure this jealousy I can't help but to perceive and hide it in silence, nandito parin kami ni shin sa mall after we bought all of the things we needed for the proposal magazine project ng banda ng school, he was busy looking at Terence sa di kalayuang table while I'm also busy looking at him while he's looking at the person he want to be with him.

I can see through out his eyes how he loved that person where he lookin at now, after so many years mas lalo lang syang nangungulila kay Terence and it's killing me, doble  ang sakit na dala nun  tuwing nakikita ko syang nasasaktan, now I know what this words says...it's really hard to fall from a person who also fall from other person.

"S-shin!" I try to get his attention pero titig na titig pa rin sya sa kinaroroonan nila Terence, until I saw tears fall from his eyes.

"Shin!!" I choose to look down kung san lusaw na ang ice cream na inorder nya na nasayang lang dahil pareho naming hindi nabawasan, i can't stand looking at him while he's crying dahil parang pinipiga ang dibdib ko sa sakit...how long should I need to hide this felling?... nakakasawa ng kimkimin tong sakit, lalo na't alam kong wala rin akong ipinaglalaban at wala akong laban.

"I-im sorry" basag na boses nito kaya hindi ko mapigilang mapakagat sa labi ko para indahin ang kirot na nararamdaman ko... hanggang kailan ba ang ganitong set-up ko? I keep on looking down to hide my tears at palihim itong pinunasan habang nakayuko ako... what if one day he will knew about this felling im hiding for a long time? Can I replace Terence on his heart?... But the painful trurth was IT WILL NEVER BE, I can never replace that person from his heart.

"C-cray... Pwede mo bakong samahan sa bar?" His voice was literally cracked kaya napatango lang ako sa pagkakayuko ko at nilisan namin ang building habang tahimik lang akong nakasunod sakanya.

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We're both filled with silence along the road habang nakatitig lang ako sa bintana ng kotse nya, im sitting at the back seat letting him alone at the driver's seat to lessen this torture thing inside me.

"C-cray..." napatingin ako dahil sa pagtawag nito at naghintay ng sunod na sasabihin nya.

"...i-im sorry for dragging you from this situation" he said with full of worried and apologetic look, thats why I only gave him an assurance smile and mouthed "it's okay" before I looked back from his cars window,
palihim ko ring pinunasan ang traydor na luhang kumawala sa mata ko sabay ng pagpapakawala ko ng malalim na buntong hininga. I'm the one who's dragging my self in pain.

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12:15 pm

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We arrived here around 4pm and  almost 8 hours ng umiinom si Shin dito sa may bar na pinuntahan namin, this place isn't my thing at first ko talagang makapasok dito loud music, odor of alcohols and cigarettes are filling the whole building dahilan ng muntik ko ng paglabas dito pero I need to stay at Shin side lalo na't tumama na ang epekto ng alak sakanya, tuloy-tuloy lang sya sa pagtungga kahit malapit ng bumigay ang katawan nya, he's suppressing his tears to fall at kita ang pamumula ng mata nito, he didn't saying any words after we enter here dahil tuloy-tuloy lang sya sa pagtungga.

"Shin!...it almost 1 in the morning umuwi na tayo hinahanap na rin ako sa bahay" I tried to looked on his face pero ganun nalang ang pamumuo ng luha sa mata ko habang nakatingin sa magulo nyang buhok mugtong mata at bigat ng kilos nya.

"*hik... I'm tired *smile* pero hindi pwede *hik... you didn't gave up on me four years ago kaya kahit pagod nako I won't stop *hik *smile* Lance I'm tired pero para sayo kakayanin ko *hik... you're still here..." he's smiling on pain habang pilit nyang itinuturo ang dibdib nya and it's killing me...how should I scape from his deadly reality word?