ᴀɴɢᴜɪsʜ » ᴅᴀʀʏʟ ᴅɪxᴏɴ

{35} Calm Before The Storm.

Something changed. Willow wasn't sure what that might be, but something felt different. Her green sapphires looked out towards the fields as she held her bowl of oatmeal in hand. Life seemed to go back to normal, and the days that followed blurred. Hershel kept his daughters close, Rick took care of his pregnant wife and son, Glenn made a promise to Maggie that he will never leave her. Jodie, despite her loss, took every day in, finding a liking to their newest member, Aya. Sophia was recovering and Carol thanked Daryl tirelessly. While Shane kept his eyes on their captive named Randal closely.

Things began to fall back into place. A certain kind of peace. Yet, Willow wasn't sure how to settle with peace. The realization that she had killed others sunk in and her hands shook almost constantly. While the others were happy to gain back their family, Daryl and Jodie saw the change in Willow.

"Your watch is up," Daryl says besides a daydreaming Willow. She took her eyes from the fields and placed them onto Daryl. Their glances catch the other, trying to figure out each other's minds.

"Okay," Willow breathed, standing to her feet. She gave the roof of Dale's RV an examination as Daryl kept his questioning gaze on her. "I'm fine, Daryl."

"You haven't seen Sophia yet. Aya says she's been asking for ya," Daryl informs coldly, not breaking his stare. Willow kept her glare away from his, unwilling to give him the emotions she betrayed within. Daryl, not letting this go so easily, dragged the second chair upon the roof next to the one she stood behind and took the bowl from her hand. Throwing it down over the RV without care. He then tossed himself down in his seat, pointing for Willow to sit with him.

She sighs, slowly settling back in the lawn chair with her nose wrinkled. Daryl had his habit of giving her life-changing speeches. Today she didn't want to hear it. However, she knew this may just give her some sort of answer to her impressions. Willow gripped the round of her knees whilst Daryl pulled out a new pack of filtered cigarettes, handing her one once he tore open the seal.

With a soft "thank you", she took the cigarette and placed it on her lips.

"What's wrong with you?" Daryl questioned after lighting his cigarette. He watched as Willow leaned forward, allowing the flames from his lighter to burn the tip of the cigarette.

Sitting back, Willow took a long drag, nearly choking. She hadn't smoked since the church back in the woods and took too much steam into her lungs. As she watched her nostrils vapors with smoke, she licked her lips.

"I've never killed anybody before," Willow began, examining her cigarette. "I helped put murderers in prison. Sometimes, I prevented them from going to a life sentence. Never in my life did I think I would have to kill someone's child," Willow paused as her leg began to anxiously bounce. Her skin held old and new bruises. The blood underneath her nails gave her remembrances of the night. The way the stranger gasped from life to death. The smell of burning flesh was imprinted on her flesh; Willow was sure it wouldn't come off no matter how much she washed. All of it made her squirm. Disgusted by the actions. "I don't know how to live with it."

Daryl listened; the way her bottom lip trembled reminded him of the trauma Merle spoke of as kids. Daryl couldn't understand why she felt this way. She saved her life. The fighting got her here. If she had died the night before, she wouldn't be sitting with him and he would feel guilty for allowing her to leave.

Leaning forward with his elbow on his knee, Daryl slowly reached out his hand. At first, he pauses but continues to place a gentle hand onto Willow's thigh. Her leg slowly stops shaking and with lachrymose eyes, she pulled them onto Daryl. His hand squeezes her thigh and he aims to show empathy upon his expression.

"You did what you needed to," Daryl intensely gazed into her sapphires. "Back then, your life was different. Shit worked out for you. Now, now you're just livin' the life everyone is meant to live." Daryl felt Willow take his hand into hers. Squeezing it with a faint smile, she examines them. Appreciating their intimacy. "Don't beat yourself for staying alive, Ms. Lawyer."