It's Okay, Draco

Chapter 50

Don't cling to the past, something that you can't change. You need to turn the page to face a even hardest chapter.

So my mother once said.

And yet, here I was, in the same chapter, attached to the past, how the things were before all this.

Instead of turning the page, I re-read it, as now I came at the Astronomy Tower again, feeling the cold breeze in my arms as I climbed the marble stairs.

But this time, to find him here.

He wasn't sat like he used to be, instead, he was standing at behind the rail, both his hands supporting his body, while his gaze remained looking down at the white ground, but he was too close to the rail, almost like leaned over, it almost seemed like he was about to...

"Draco?" I whispered softly in the wind of the cold night.

So far I don't know if he heard me, or if he even knew I was here, but perhaps he must had predicted I would come here.

He didn't even flinched or turned to me when I called his name, for mere seconds I thought it was just an hallucination, another trick of my mind, but I grabbed the necklace that was inside my shirt, pressing it tightly, and I knew this was real, it felt too real.

"How do you do it?" I heard Draco ask, it felt so odd but so grateful to hear his voice after months, even though that his voice looked like it losted all it's bright and motivation.

I slowly took a few steps to the front, I wanted to see him, close, I wanted to see the very last light that remained inside his diamond eyes, it's like trying to see a angel in the middle of hell.

"I'm sorry?" I said softly, not understanding the point of his question, wondering if he thought I was someone else.

"How do you do it to keep...fucking smiling, even if it's fake, when your whole world is collapsing." He was struggling to speak, holding himself back, as I saw his eyes getting filled by water.

"Honestly, I don't know, most of the time, I just wanted to run away from this broken and cruel world." I said, as tears started falling from my eyes, when I remembered all that has been happening to me lately.

I felt his gaze imediatly turn to me when he noticed my crying, and I felt the sudden urge to give him the tightest hug him, and never let go, I could almost feel his pain through those eyes where no happiness or emotion remained there.

"I'm not the girl you met two years ago Draco, I'm not, I don't know how to be her, not anymore...but, I had people helping me...I had you." I said softly, giving a silly smile unmatching with the immense tears falling from my eyes.

He didn't replied to me, on the contrary, he diverted his eyes from me, looking now at the ground again.

"No, you didn't needed me, you did it all by yourself." He said firmly after some seconds of silence.

"Yes I did needed you, still do-" I tried to touch him to he shoved my hand away.

"No! Stop!" He shouted turning his gaze to me.

"Draco what-" He cut me off.

"Your obsessed with the ideia of fixing me not being with me." He said with his voice shaking.

His words hit me like a slap in the face, as I let them sank deep in me, that maybe could be true at the beginning, but not anymore, I needed him, and I wanted to be with him, he makes me feel like I've never felt before that I know.

He was the darkness I needed to shine.

"Draco that's not true and you know it." I said, taking some steps towards him, but he kept looking away from me. "Just please tell me what going on." I begged, but he remained locked with his cold mask. "You missed Quidditch today, and you love Quidditch." I said, tilting my head to look at his eyes.