It's Okay, Draco

Chapter 56

I woke up, with my head falling from the couch, I could see the dawn light already reflection from the window, illuminating the hospital.

I didn't slept well, the flashes from seeing Draco's body layed in the floor, while his blood leaving his body haunted all my memories and dreams, and it's like I still felt his dry blood all over my skin.

I looked at Draco, he was layed on his side, turned to me, and his own hand was still intertwined with mine.

I got closer to him, seeing his hair falling to his closed eyes, covering them, so my free hand tucked a piece of his blonde hair behind his ear.

While doing that, he opened his eyes slowly, imediatly locking his gaze with mine as he did so, my hand that was behind is ear, slowly placed itself in his pale face, right on the top of his jawline.

He didn't removed his eyes from me, I felt alive again, looking at his mesmerizing eyes that I missed so much, he didn't looked tired anymore, I could tell he needed this, a good night of sleep, for moments I could forget everything, forget that everything wasn't a chaos, forget what he is...

"Did you really meant what you said yesterday?" Draco's voice was almost like a whisper, while his free hand placed itself on the top of mine, his thumb gently massaging the back of my hand.

"I did meant it. Every word." I said softly, but saw his cold gaze turn back to place, and he broke the eye contact to lay in his back, gaze fixed onto the ceiling.

"Even after you know the monster I am?" He asked calmly, as he released both his hands, to wrap one around his left arm.

"Draco I don't think you're a monster...I never did." I said softly, tilting my head to try to catch his gaze again.

"You'll think differently after tonight." He said.

"What will happen tonight?" I asked softly.

He didn't answered my question, instead he started sitting up in the bed, and locked his gaze with the wall in front of him.

He made himself silent, the only sound in the room was the birds singing outside pronouncing the beginning of a new day, and with that new opportunities to start over.

"You don't love me...you can't love me." He whispered only for me to hear.

His words were like blades to my eyes, making them bleed just to be deaf to hear such words.

"But I do...please look at me." I said softly and saw him slowly turning his head to me, showing me nothing more a layer of ice over his eyes. "You don't have to push me away to protect me..." I whispered with tears forming a river in my eyes.

"Yeah I do...I'm dangerous." He said pulling his left arm in front of him, not even needing to pull up his sleeve for me to understand.

This was the moment I was waiting for, the question that has been stuck in my throat since last night, where I would have to pronounce words it might break him even more.

"Draco, why did you become a death eater?" I asked, looking right into his eyes, hoping for a despise reaction from his part, but instead he took a deep breath, in the search for the right words.

"That doesn't matter, does it?" He said giving a small laugh. "It doesn't change my mistakes." He said carelessly.

"Of course it matters, you seem to not have wanted, so why have you?" I asked softly.

He ignored my words, and started to stand up from his bed, avoiding to even look at me while he tied his shoes, and got ready to leave.

"Why are you ignoring me-" I asked but he spoke on top of me.