It's Okay, Draco

Chapter 69

He was sat in the the Tower when I ran my way to there.

As always, the cold breeze from the tower was creeping in my spine, it wasn't snowing, but it was significantly freezing out here, luckily I brought a jacket.

He wasn't surprised to see me here, quite the opposite, he was more than certain that I would show up, and seemed to relax when I sat near him.

"Hey." I said softly, but he looked upset about something, not about me, but about something. "Are you okay?" I asked softly, tilting my head to see his eyes.

"I'm fine." He said, in a firm, unemotional tone.

The way he had just answered me, told me otherwise, he was keeping something for him, something unspoken that needed to be heard for too long.

"You don't look fine." I said, waiting patiently for him to open up.

He took a deep breath, wondering wether should he tell me or not, but his mask was beyond unstable, he was losing his focus, losing he's strength to shove away his feelings.

"I tired." He said firmly. "I'm tired of this fucking world, I'm so fucking tired, I'm trying to try to change...I just want to run away from here." He let out angrily, burying his face in his palms.

"Maybe is the world that needs to change." I said softly, completely caught by surprise of hi sudden confession. "Don't think like that." I said getting closer to him.

"I just-" He took a deep breath, and looked up at the sky. "Nevermind." He said coldly.

I was playing a hard game, trying to place the right cards so he would fall in a trap, trying to write this chapter instead of reading it, going against all the odds.

"Life is too short to nevermind!" I shouted, and his gaze imediatly caught itself on mine, on my abruptly and unexpected reaction.

He was about to speak but swallowed back all his words, and I eyed him carefully, making sure I had his full attention for my next words that were stuck in my throat for too long.

"Life is too short for loose ends, for gestures that were never taken, feelings that were never spoken, apologies that were never made..." I said angrily. "So take the chance, do the things that makes you vulnerable, that makes you exposed." His lips were parted at my words, even I was surprised for them.

At this moment I wasn't thinking in anything, I wasn't thinking at all, I was just letting my feelings speak for me, something I don't do too often, something that my mother once told me to hide, but that's something that I just can't manage to do.

"So expose yourself, open up, let the life bring you pain and happiness, because if you stop yourself when you're hurt...you'll never get the chance to live the happy part about life, let that inspire you, take risks...life is too short and one day nobody will remember you...so live it like if there wasn't a tomorrow to be lived." I shouted abruptly, making every word clear to sink down in him, to bring some reason to him.

He just stared at me like I had committed some atrocious felony and he had witnessed it, his lips parted, his head most probably sink down my sentence, word for word, and for dear Merlin I hoped it had brought some sense to him.

His eyes become moist from holding back his tears, from holding back his vulnerability, the exact opposite from what I had told him.

"I don't think life has any happiness awaiting for me in my future." He said after a few seconds, giving a small laugh at his own sentence. "But perhaps it's what I deserve, I did too many mistakes in the past, now I'm living with the consequences." He said, and diverted his eyes from me, ashamed of himself.