Children of Toil ✔

Chapter Three

He stood beside her grave. His hands clasped together, the pain in his chest intense. Lucan breathed in, held onto that breath and fought back his emotions. He'd wanted to give her so much more. Had dreamt of building her a house and owning land they would have worked together.

The only land she would know surrounded her resting place.
Her house a wooden box.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and released the breath he was holding. Lucan kicked at the loose dirt and watched it fall onto the casket. He hated himself. Hated God for taking her away from him and what lay ahead.

A life of loneliness.
For Lucan knew he could never love another like he loved Kat.

Father O'Donnell reached out and touched his shoulder. "Tis time, Lucan. We must have the grave filled before the rain begins."

"Father." Lucan lifted his eyes to the darkened sky. "Do you ever wonder why the sun never seems ta shine? You'd think for a warm spirited woman like me Kat that God woulda let the sky light up today."

The priest looked to the heavens, sighed and said, "Believe me, Lucan, the sun is shining for Kat. Nae here perhaps, but where she is now it shines all the time." He patted Lucan's shoulder. "Come, you must tend to your children, they need you now more than ever."

"I don't think that I can do it, Father." Lucan hung his head. "Perhaps they'd be better off with someone else."

"And who would that someone else be, Lucan?"

Shrugging, Lucan replied, "I don't ken, Father. Perhaps you'd know someone..." His words hung heavy in the air.

Father O'Donnell let them sit there so Lucan could absorb what they really meant. "Lucan," he said. "Kat loved you very much, went against her father and family to marry you. An Irishman. Your children are her gift of love to you. Do you really want to give that gift away? Would she do the same if it were you who had died first?"

With head still hung, Lucan's chest heaved silently up and down. When he spoke, his voice was a whisper, "I'm sorry, Father. Please forgive me." He lifted his face and looked into Father O'Donnell's eyes. "Kat'd never even think it, but I must work to feed them. How can I be in two places at once?"

"God will look after you, Lucan. You and your sons. You'll know what to do, but giving your children to someone else who'll not love them as you and Kat, is no the answer."

Lucan rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands and looked once more to the sky. "I'm not thinkin' straight." He paused, turned to Father O'Donnell and shook his hand. "Thank ya, Father."

The priest gripped Lucan's hand with both of his. "If you need to talk, Lucan, I will always listen."

*****

Missus Hare smiled at him as he walked into the kitchen. She patted the chair beside hers. "Come. Sit, Lucan. We need tae talk."

He did as he was told as if he were a child.

"Me and Charlie was thinkin' yer'll be needin' someone to take care of the geats when you're at the pit." Emily stood, moved to the fire and stirred the pot which sat on the hob.

Lucan watched her as she dished food into a bowl. Her movements were quick and her eyes were bright. He nodded his response.

"You see, Lucan, we was thinkin' we could be helpin' each other out. Charlie was sayin', seen as your place is bigger, havin' two rooms and all. We could come and live there with you and the bairns. Split the rent like and I'd be there for the lads when you was workin'." She paused. "I could cook and Charlie with 'is back the way it is, and bein' on the bank, well... he don't make as much now at the pit as he used to. Splitting the rent would help us out and we'd share the food. What do you think?" Emily smiled and set the bowl of stew down in front of him, and then sat across from him fiddling with her fingers.

Lucan remained silent for a moment trying to absorb what she had said. He wondered if this was what Father O'Donnell had meant when he said God would take care of him and his sons.

Emily spoke again, "You and the bairns could keep the bedroom. Me and Charlie would make our bed near the fire." A frown crossed her face. She paused. "You dinnae have to, Lucan. We was just thinkin' that's all."

He smiled weakly at her. "Yea, Emily. It's a grand idea. One that would help me out."

She grinned at him, tapped her hand on the table and stood. "Charlie'll be pleased. How about some tea? I got water on the hob." 

It would have been very hard back in those days if you had no family to lean on. How would a widower  look after his children?  Widowed women often resorted to prostitution but men didn't have that advantage.  Lucan is very lucky to have Emily and Charlie.

Photo copyright - The Herald - Scotland's Hidden Cemeteries.