Children of Toil ✔

Chapter Twelve - Part Two

Thaiter was still at the pub drinking to Lanigan's life and passing. Lucan had put the boys to bed and was sitting at the kitchen table wishing he was a drinker. Maybe if he went and got drunk, he could stop thinking about Lillian. The kettle boiled. He poured it into the bath water so he could wash himself.

Stripping off, Lucan lay back in the tepid water. He lathered himself with soap, washed his hair and rinsed by tipping a bucket of cold water over his head. He stepped out of the tub, wrapped a towel around his hips, and then heard a light tap on the door.

"Lucan." Lillian pushed it opened and gasped when she saw him standing there dripping wet but she didn't look away. "Sorry, I've come at a bad time."

Lucan's first thoughts were this was only the second time she had come to his house and the first time she had stepped inside. He had always called on her either at the school or at Missus Blake's where she had a room though he'd never been allowed inside.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

He thought he should go and get some clothes on but decided not to. It was his house and if she wanted him, she was going to have to accept him like he was so he pulled a chair out and sat down without offering her one. "Yeah."

Lillian looked around the room. "Has everyone else gone to sleep?"

"The lads are. Thaiter's down the pub."

She nodded, sat down opposite him and smiled nervously. "I know you have the right to be angry with me, Lucan, and you're correct I didn't want to be seen with you today."

He looked sternly at her. "Why?"

"Well, you all looked untidy. I was ashamed to think you'd go to a funeral dressed like you were."

"Why is it always about the way I look?" Lucan sighed and ground his teeth. "How did I look any different from any other miner who works in this town?"

"Your clothes weren't ironed."

He sneered. "In case you hadn't noticed, Lillian, I'm not a woman. I don't have a wife to cook and clean, wash and iron for me and I can't afford a housemaid. I don't even have an iron so I'm sorry I don't live up to your expectations." He paused. "Is that all you came to tell me because I'd like to go to bed."

"I'm sorry that makes you angry but I'm trying to be honest. Why didn't you ask me or Missus Scott to iron your shirt?"

"Missus Scott has enough to do without me givin' her more and why couldn't you have offered if it bothers you so much. We've argued over this before."

"Yes, I'm sorry I should have offered. I don't know why I didn't." She hung her head. "Maybe you wouldn't like me butting in like that. Maybe you'd think I was trying to push my ways onto you." Lillian lifted her head.

Lucan saw a tear tickle down her cheek. He rubbed his hands down his face. Tears always weakened him but he wanted to play this out so he didn't move or say anything.

"I don't want to fight," she whispered. "I don't want you to think you're wasting your time on me. I'm sorry I'm the way I am. I just have high expectations." She drew in a breath of air to try and stem the flow of her tears.

Lucan felt his resolve weakening. "You have ta accept me the way I am, Lillian."

She nodded, gasped back more tears. "But shouldn't we compromise... meet half way."

"Yeah, we should but I can't be someone I'm not."

"I'm not trying to do that to you."

"What is it you're trying to do?" he asked.