Children of Toil ✔

Chapter Thirteen - Part Two

Thaiter worried. Lucan hadn't said much since he'd come back from talking to Lillian about Covey. He knew Lucan hadn't been near her for three weeks. Thaiter assumed the relationship was over. He was glad. He figured Lucan's silence was his way of coping with the break up.

"You should take a trip down ta Cairns. Get away from the place for a bit," Thaiter told him that night at the dinner table.

Lucan shook his head.

"Well, it'd be good for ya mood." Thaiter laughed and tried to lighten the tension. "I feel like I'm livin' with a dead man and the lads aren't happy with it either."

Lucan looked at Thaiter through his hair but said nothing.

"It's a good thing you broke it off with her." Thaiter nodded. "She was no good for you."

Stirring the food on his plate, Lucan said, "You've said that before. The thing is I never said I was breaking it off with her. I just said I needed time to think."

"So, all this is you thinkin'? All this quiet moping around is you thinkin'? Fuck what's the place gonna be like if it's finished."

"Could be worse." Lucan shrugged. "Could be better. We're engaged."

Thaiter dropped his fork and threw his arms in the air. "Ah fuck! You didn't go and get engaged to her. Why the fuck did ya do that?"

Putting his fork on his plate, Lucan leaned back against his chair. "Who knows and now I don't know what I'm gonna do about it. She has a right to know which way I'm thinkin' except I have no idea which way I want to think."

Thaiter studied his face and said, "So is it that you've had sex with her? Is it ya dick controlling your brain because if that's the case get yaself ta Cairns and rut with one of them girls to get it out of your fucking system?"

"It's not sex, Thaiter. We haven't gone that far. I know we've got problems but for some reason I keep getting pulled towards her." He sighed. "Jesus, we don't have the same ideas about anything. I saw her walking with that Mister Lewis. He's more suited to her than I am."

"Do ya have grand ideas?" Thaiter scratched his head. "Like are you thinking if ya marry above yourself dat it'll somehow make ya a better person."

Lucan shook his head. "The engagement was a flow on from that first time I asked her. It was ta do with me wanting sex. She satisfied me another way, and then asked me if I still wanted to marry her. I said yes because... damn... to show her respect for what she'd done."

"Fuck, Lucan. Listen to yourself. You said yes because of ya dick. You don't tell a woman ya want ta marry her because you've just cum all over em. Fuck, lad, ya don't want this. Take some time away then see how ya feel when ya come back. The lads will be all right with me. Margaret will help me out."

"She has a right to know." Lucan ran his hand through his hand. "I need to tell her but I don't know what to tell her."

"You could forget about it completely and just go."

"No. She needs to be told."

*****

Lucan talked to Bluey about taking a couple of weeks off, so the following week he finished work early and organized what he'd need for the journey. Jacko said he could take the mare as far as Mareeba and stable her there until he came back.

Lucan washed himself, ironed his shirt and waited at the school gate. He sat on the low rock wall of the garden with his elbows on his knees. Children ran past him laughing and chattering.

He didn't notice Covey standing in front of him until he spoke.

"Da... what ya doing?"

Smiling, Lucan ran his hand over his son's head. "I need to speak to Miss Rowles. You go along and I'll be home shortly." Covey nodded, and turned his head toward the class room. Lucan followed his gaze. Lillian was leaning against the door frame with her arms wrapped around her body. She looked at the ground, straightened up, and then looked over at Lucan. She hesitated before walking back into the classroom.