Side by Side - JENSOO

Setback

JK's POV

I can't sleep after Jisoo left. In fact, I still don't know why I did what I did. I was in the mood, she was making me feel things I never thought I was capable of before, it was like being ecstatic every time I felt her so hot, it feels like we were on the same wavelength.

Until my paranoid side decided to show up and say: 'what if she's just doing this to seduce you and nothing else?' She's a good player, she has tricks that I'm not used to, just like Rosé said.

I bury my face in the pillow and squeal, trying to alleviate my anger. I'm feeling so stupid and idiot. My paranoia overwhelmed me and I pushed Jisoo away, again. Her look of shock as I pushed her away, she was still worried if she'd done something wrong, so cute, but I couldn't do it any other than being dry and aloof. When I saw her wearing a sweatshirt and leaving, my heart told me: go after her! But my body didn't move, it was frozen.

I take a quick shower and change, go to breakfast and find Lisa, obviously, accompanied by Rosé. They're eating a LOT of food and excited to talk, until I drop into the chair across from them and sigh.

"From the marks on your neck, you had a delicious night." Lisa smiles.

"No. I screwed up again." I cross my arms.

"What happened?" Rosé looks at me worried.

"I don't know, we were kissing, clothes were already on the floor, I was feeling so many good things that I can't even explain it, but all of a sudden, my brain cracked and paranoia overcame me. I pushed her away and said I didn't want it anymore, she was in shock and still worried if she had done something wrong" I feel a tear run down my cheek "But I kept being stupid and I was dry with her."

"And where is she?"

"I don't know, she changed and said that there were many things going on, that she didn't want to talk anymore and left." I start to cry, attracting the attention of some people close to us. Rosé gives Lisa a worried look.

"Jen, you want Jisoo, but don't throw yourself into it. It's impossible. You have to let go of fear and trust her." Lisa squeezes my hand.

"I don't know if I can, Lis. I can't." I try to take a deep breath to calm down. Rosé picks up the phone and calls someone.

"She's not answering." Rosé says as she stares at the phone, but then arches a confused eyebrow looking past me.

"What?" I turn to where she's looking to see Soojoo putting food in Jisoo's mouth. I arch an eyebrow, irritated by the scene.

"I shouldn't expect anything else."

"Why?" Lisa and I talk.

"I don't want to blame you for anything, but sex is an important thing for Jisoo" Rosé says softly and I remember the argument between her and Sehun "There's a few things that irritates her more than starting and not finishing. Really, she takes it very seriously."

"So she went into Soojoo's arms?" I say ironically.

"I would do the same." Lisa says and I look at her shocked "What? Come on, Jennie, we're not in high school and, honestly, Jisoo's being very patient with you. It's the third time you've rejected her, one way or another, you have no right to be angry with her because of it. I doubt she pressured you into something last night, so it's your fault for being so unstable and not deciding what you want, for being scared." Rosé and I looked at her in surprise as she just got up "I'm warning you, you'll lose her if you don't make a decision and then I don't want to hear you crying with regret."

**********

When I enter the room, I see Jisoo finishing closing the suitcase. She takes a look around, making sure she doesn't leave anything behind until our eyes meet. The same blank, indifferent expression from the day we met.

"Jisoo." I say and close the door, she keeps looking at me and says nothing. "About yesterday, I think I owe you an apology."

"Why?"

"Because I acted that way." sigh and I approach her, she just shakes her head and starts pulling the suitcase "Where are you going?"

"I'm moving room."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to stay here anymore." She shrugs.

"I don't know what to do." I say and she stops walking. "I really don't know what to do about you, I get nervous, anxious, scared and worried. My paranoia takes control of my mind and I go into defensive mode. I don't want to push you away, but it ends up happening and I don't know how to act. I want to impress you, like you impress me, but at the same time, I get scared." She watches me and I see her biting her lip, looking uncertain about what to do.

"I'm sorry, Jennie, but this is something you have to work out with yourself. I can't be with someone who seems to be crazy about me and the next minute pushes me away, who builds a wall between us." she says, looking away "I like you, I don't know how or why, but unfortunately I like you, but I can't be with someone who doesn't know what he wants, who isn't on the same page as me." She turns and leaves.

don't forget to vote, pls!