You Complete Me [Jemily]

Feels So Rough

January 27, 2019
JJ left yesterday for a case and it's been just me and Henry in the house for almost 24 hours. Whenever she has to leave for days at a time, the reality of her job sets in. I support what she does fully and completely, especially because I know her ex did not. It's important to me that she knows I understand her dedication to the job, but it would be a lie to say I can't see her ex's side of the coin.

I sent JJ a goodnight text as I settled down in preparation to go to sleep.

[Emily- 10:17] goodnight, my love ❤️ missing you a lot tonight

[JJ- 10:19] I miss you too 🥺 give Henry a big hug and kiss for me XO

At any other time of the day I'd obey her request, but Henry was already asleep for the night. At least I thought he was. I was just on the edge of sleep when I heard our bedroom door slowly creak open. I leaned up on one elbow and saw Henry shyly standing in the doorway.

I rasped, "Hen? What's wrong?"

He whined, "I don't feel good, Momma." I got up and went to go kneel in front of him. I felt his forehead to see if he had a temperature but it didn't seem like he did. But he looked miserable and I could hear his breath wheezing.

I asked him, "Does anything hurt?" He tried to answer but a barking cough interrupted him and echoed through the bed room. I picked him up, "Aww, bubs, come here," and carried him over to bed as he softly whimpered in discomfort. I set him down on JJ's side and went to go find my work bag. Unfortunately, I didn't really have any tools in there that could help other than my stethoscope. I put the ends in my ears and shuffled over to listen to Henry's chest. His breathing was definitely labored and hoarse, and his coughing was starting to be more frequent. It looked like some kind of upper airway infection, probably croup. I asked him again, "What hurts?"

"My phroat huwts."

"Okay I can give you some cough syrup but no more medicine tonight, you really need some rest." He nodded to show he understood and held his arms out for me to carry him into the bathroom. I walked in with him and set him down on the counter to give him some medicine to soothe his throat. I turned the shower on and set the dial to the hottest temperature before closing the curtain, making the bathroom quickly fill up with steam. I brushed his hair away and told him, "Let's just sit in here for a minute or two, okay? It'll help your breathing."

He pointed at all the steam, "What is dat?"

"It's steam. The water in the shower is really hot and it's starting to evaporate, which means it turns into what's called a 'vapor.' You know how really cold water turns to ice?" He coughed and then nodded. "Well really hot water turns to steam."

He tilted his head, "Is like a cloud?"

"Yeah, just like a cloud." We sat in there for another minute, letting the steam soothe his airway, before shutting the water and lights off and retreating back to the bedroom. I set Henry down and went over to open a window, letting the cool air fill the room and help his breathing. I went back over to my side of the bed and sat against the headboard. Henry crawled into my lap and laid down. I pulled him up, "You should really try to sit up tonight, buddy. It won't hurt as much." He nodded and rubbed his eyes, leaning back against me to get comfy. I rubbed my hand gently over his back to calm him down, knowing it was working when he started to yawn. I whispered comforts in his ear and gently asked, "You sleepy?"

"Mmmhmm. Can you sing fer me?" JJ always sang to him whenever he was sick, so I knew it was only a matter of time before he asked me.

"What should I sing?" A cough.

"Sing da song mommy sings. About da birds." I knew exactly what one he meant.

"Okay." I kissed the top of his head and gently started to sing, "Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise..."

The next night
"Emily?... Emily?" JJ peeked her head through the bathroom door at 3 AM, seeing me holding a sleeping Henry in my arms while surrounded by steam.

"You're back?" I was surprised to see her home after only two days away. I didn't know she was coming back.

She said a little louder, "Yeah, why is the shower running?"

"Shhh." I turned the water off and quietly carried Henry to his room as JJ trailed close behind. I gently set him down in his bed and shut the door to meet JJ in the hallway.

She observed, "Babe, it's three in the morning."

I noticed her hand was wrapped up, "What happened to your hand?"

She dismissed my question and asked her own, "What's going on? Why are you up?"

"Henry's sick, he's got the croup." She sighed. I continued, "I know, it's pretty bad."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I've been pretty busy with him."

"Well how bad is it? What have you been doing?"

"Just steam showers, cool night air, and watching his breathing. His throat was sore on the first night so I gave him some cough medicine."

"Wait, when did this happen?"

"Uh, well he started going south last night, but tonight the cough's really bad."

She scolded, "Babe, you should have told me."

"Why? So you could worry while you were on a case? There's nothing you could have done."

"It doesn't matter. You should have called me."

"Why? I handled it."

She rolled her eyes and pushed passed me to his room, "Just forget it."

I held her back, "W-Wait, where are you going?"

"To sit with him! You said to watch his breathing, right?"

"He's sleeping you don't wanna wake him up. JJ, I can tell something's wrong, what is it?"

She fumed, "Nothing, it's just... I'm his mother, okay? I want to know when he's sick!"

I shushed her, "Hey hey hey, take some deep breaths, okay? It's all right." She rolled her eyes again, still upset with me. I scoffed and retaliated, "You know this hasn't exactly been easy for me either? Huh?"

"What do you mean?" I stomped into our bedroom and she followed, closing the door behind us so we could yell without waking Henry.

I got some things off my chest, "You being gone for like... days at a time! It's hard when you're not here, you know? And not just for Henry but for me, too! I've had to take care of him all by myself since you left!"

She looked up at the ceiling, "My god, you sound just like Will right now!"

I shouted, "Well maybe he had some sense in him!" I regretted that immediately as I saw all the life leave JJ's face. A tear fell down her cheek and I gushed, "I-I'm sorry, JJ, I didn't mean that." She started to rush into the bathroom. I tried to get her to stop, "JJ, really it was a mistake!" She stepped in and slammed the door behind her. I rested my head against the partition and sighed to myself, "Fuck." I sat down on the floor in front of the bathroom, leaning my back against the bed frame. I stayed out there for roughly 20 minutes, waiting for JJ to open the door. No words were shared during that time, no matter how hard I tried.

She finally creaked it open and softly said through her tears, "I think we need to talk."
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A/N - this chapter contains dialogue from Season 12 Episode 2- "Sick Day"