It was always you

Sorting Differences

Sense of loyalty, proud, happiness, comfort, I feel more than the feeling of love, seeing the woman sitting infront of me. First, I really thought that she didn't told me about my kids , yah from now onwards, Peter and Lily are my own kids like they're Sally's the love of my life. I really thought that it's her way of getting her revenge from me for breaking up with her but boy, I was wrong. Not all girls seek revenge after breakup and the lady sitting infront of me is , a biggest example.

First , I wasn't paying any attention to her reaction and was just speaking, but my eyes accidentally met hers and the moment, I realised that, she's looking at me as if she's just met an alien, and I couldn't help but my lips twitch into a smile but tried to keep it to myself, and cleared my throat, I have cleared my throat a lot of times infront of her, she'll get wrong assumptions as if I have infection in my throat. Before she'd made some assumptions, I cut her off by saying that, "We used to be friends , Sally and our relationship is to be blamed for ending our beautiful friendship." She gave me "Why're you bringing past in this look" but I ignored her and continued.

"I met innumerable people, Sally in these years but I never met someone as understanding as you." I found myself confessing, "Maybe by working on our friendship, we can improve the life of the kids, I am not saying your upbringing is wrong but at some point in life, they're going to need a person who they can claim as their father. " I looked at her with hopeful eyes, her reaction was neural, she's difficult to be read, "I hope you understand what, I'm trying to say." She was playing with her food but then looked at me, "I'm in." Was all she said, and I blinked my eyes at her answer, Sally's became emotionless, what life had made her, she'd learnt to flow with life, which is the horrible nightmare  for me, I wondered and as much as I am proud of her gaining maturity, I miss my old Sally my bestfriend, the women I fall in love with.

"If you want you can live life your way.I don't want you to interfere in my personal space, neither I will." She rolled her eyes, "For your kind information, Emerson, I never interferred in your life when we used to be in a serious relationship, what made you think , I'll now in this fake marriage. " She gave me a blunt answer and I don't want to accept it but it's cent percent correct.

There used to be days when, I wanted my girlfriend to be possessive and claim me as if , I am her property but this girl never ever did what other girls of her age used to do, her books were her first priority over me and at times I used to be jealous of those hardcovers, she's so in love with her books that when, I wanted to act like a gentleman and carry her load, she used to decline my request reasoning me, that I'll destroy it's cover with my large hands. She's different and difficult to understand, and I'm proud that have known the few secrets of the box filled with innumerable mysteries. Over the span of years, the woman who's like a box filled with innumerable mysteries sitting infront of me, has managed to add more mysteries to her box and I am determined to unreveal them once again.

It's time to leave and it's fast forward, When we're enjoying the time is  fast forward and when we're not it's in slow motion, although I ask her to wait for dessert but she reasoned me that, instead of desserts they'll have ice-cream, It's her habit, eating ice-cream in winter is Sally's thing , I nodded, it's one of my favourite part in spending time, Sally's way. After getting out from restaurant , we make our way towards, Sally's house not to forget grabbing, our ice-creams in the way.

I don't know what got over me but again, I played the radio and now the song with was relatable to our situation was playing. I fear she may think, I'm playing all these intentionally.

Broke it off, built me up
One look and you got me slipping, mm
Got different clothes, changed my lipstick
Still I don't feel that different
You got me reminiscing

The weight of your touch when your fingers danced across my shoulder
The change in your voice when you talked about us getting old
Yeah

I was hoping it'd be different when I saw you but it feels the same
Never changed
I was certain I'd flushed you out my system
But you're printed in my DNA
My heart's pushed into a corner
My brain is out of order
Swear you messing with the time 'cause every time you look at me that way
Nothing's changed

By Shy Martin.

I was about to switch off the radio but she grabbed my hand,
Motioning me not to, I sighed and nodded, thankfully she used to be my bestfriend so, she trust me that, I am not doing it intentionally but, our destiny is making us realise that, we're always ment to be together and we wasted seven years of our life living apart.  I never thought that, one day , I'd be regretting saving Sally from my bad habits. I never wanted her for the desire of her body but I want her to unravel the numerous mysteries she'd been hiding from everyone in the world, and I want to predict what goes on in her head, and want to discover something new about her with each day, I'm going to spend with her, If her personality was a book then, I fear that the book wouldn't have ended before the life of the reader. I glanced at her , she's looking out of the window, closing her eyes feelings the cold air on her face, whenever she's in car, she never shut the glasses until it's hot outside or it's raining heavily, wait she choose, a scooter over car on rainy day.

"Stop the car , right here Emerson. " Sally brought me out of my thoughts, and I shooked my head and halted the car.

"What's the matter Sally?" I couldn't help but ask, it's already getting late and we've to grab ice-cream inbetween. "There's the ice-cream parlour. " She said in excitement , and I couldn't help but smile at her smile, Smile is contagious as she says, I got out and opened the car door for her, she never thanked me for doing that because, she says that, I'm doing it willingly and she didn't request or want me to do that for her but today literally she thanked me, she'd gained lady like property with years.

"One vanilla and Sally for you your same chocolate."  I asked but she shook her head, I want strawberry. She hates strawberry mixture with ice-cream, I gave her "Are you sure look" she nodded in turn, after taking her ice-cream in our hands we walk towards my car while eating, although, I didn't wanted to but curiosity overtook me and I finally asked her the reason she didn't ordered chocolate ice-cream.

"As far as , I know you like chocolate ice-cream isn't it." I asked, she faked smiled and gave me, "I knew you'd ask look" as friends were habitual of understanding eachother's feelings with gestures and taking, understanding body language summer camp together in final year of highschool can one of the reason we both read eachother so well.

"I stopped eating it five years back, I lost the inspiration to eat chocolate. " I couldn't help but chuckle, "You don't need to be inspired to eat chocolate. " I said but she gave me "It's not funny look."

"So, why Sally?" I asked although, I didn't wanted to but I need something to talk about to let our conversation going, I miss talking to her, and now she's grew distant from me, I just need to work on our friendship once more.

"I've heard certain food carving reflect our emotions and carving for chocolate reflects a feel-good in love feeling, I lost that feeling with the love of my life." She mumbled while biting her lips and looked away, her words hit me hard, I was being selfish at the time we broke up, I just did what I wanted, not caring about what she wanted, as a foundation of a relationship takes with mutual consent of both lovers, in the same way the end to the relationship would have also been done , but here just because of my selfishness, I broke her in ways she can never be fixed.