Bully

Chapter 13: Calling Lori Again

**ABRIELLE’S POV** 

We drove in silence back to the bus. Barry, Brent, Zach, and Jake were all sitting there. It looked like they were playing cards but I couldn’t tell for sure what they were doing. As soon as we boarded, or really as soon as Eric helped me on board, they all stopped and turned to watch us. He helped me back onto the couch where I could watch TV if I wanted to. Naturally they all wanted to know what happened at the hospital.  

“Well she got some dissolvable stitches put in. The doc said a vein was nicked and that’s why she was bleeding so much. She’s feeling weak and light-headed because of how much blood she actually lost. He thinks she’ll be fine, though. Sent her home with some antibiotics, anti-nausea pill, and a mild pain killer.” Eric explained  

“What did y’all tell them?” Zach questioned looking at me  

I just looked down.  

“That she was walking around the venue, tripped over a large cable and happened to cut her arm on something on the ground.” Eric replied for me  

“And they bought that?” Jake questioned  

“Yeah.” Eric stated, “I’m sure she’s tired. Which bunk is hers?”  

Oh thank God. Give me an out to this conversation. Barry got up and said he’d fixed my bunk for me. I would be sleeping on the bottom across from Zach. Eric would be sleeping above me. He had even switched the bedding out to what I’d bought that first night out on the road.  

“Thanks.” I mumbled  

“You’re more than welcome, Sweetie. Get some rest.” He told me with a warm smile  

I slipped out of my shoes and then climbed into my bunk. It surprised me at how tired I actually was. As I laid there, I tried fighting sleep but it over-took me.

**BRENT’S POV** 

“She’s depressed but wouldn’t say anything. I lied to the doctor, backing up her lie, and she said that I didn’t have to. She actually seemed… surprised… I guess.” Eric told us  

“She’s feeling guilty about it and probably like she is undeserving of anything. I was doing some research earlier about it.” Jake stated  

“She seemed really surprised when I sat next to her and held her hand as she was getting the stitches. I couldn’t not do anything. She was crying and obviously scared.” Eric told us  

“Did she say anything about why she did it?” Barry asked as he returned from showing her where she’d be sleeping  

“Nothing. I did let her know that we weren’t judging her. I told her that we’re very concerned for her and really want to understand what she’s going through.” Eric explained  

“Good. She needs to hear that. How long do you think she’ll be feeling weak like this?” I asked  

“Well, she did lose a lot of blood. It’ll take a day or two for her body to replenish what she lost.” Jake explained us 

 “Brent? You ok?” I heard Barry ask 

 “I sort of understand. She’s depressed. I can relate to those feelings. When you feel like no one understands you, you’ll turn to anything that relieves the pain even if it’s temporary. For her I guess it’s cutting herself. For me it was drugs and alcohol.” I stated thoughtfully  

“We can’t treat her like an addict!” Eric exclaimed  

“No. I’m not saying that. I’m just saying I understand that part of what she’s going through.” I tried to explain  

Eric and I were the more emotional of the band although Zach could get pretty fired up over things too. Barry once again called Lori. Putting her on speaker, we all greeted her cordially. He asked her to tell us how we can help Abrielle with her depression. Lori was so great. She happily told us all about dealing with people with depression. Even things I didn’t know or remember. 

”I’m sure Barry remembers just how serious a condition Depression is. Don’t underestimate the seriousness of depression. Depression drains a person’s energy, optimism, and motivation. She can’t just “snap out of it” by sheer force of will. Also remember that the symptoms of depression aren’t personal. Depression makes it difficult for a person to connect on a deep emotional level with anyone, even the people he or she loves most.” Lori explained  

“Is that why she seems to keep us at arms’ length and won’t let us get close to her?” Zach questioned 

”Yes it is, Zach. It’s not that she doesn’t like you. Some depressed people often say hurtful things and lash out in anger. Remember that this is the depression talking, not her, so try not to take it personally. Hiding the problem won’t make it go away so don’t be an enabler. It doesn’t help anyone” Lori stated  

“She’s not really talking to us right now after Brent found her earlier. I’ve never heard her say anything hurtful to anyone or even lash out in anger.” Barry told his wife  

The more we heard about depression and stuff the more everything just fit into place.  

”You also need to remember that you can’t “fix” her depression. Don’t try to rescue her from depression. You’re not responsible for his or her happiness or lack thereof. Ultimately, recovery is in the hands of her.” Lori told us  

“What can we do for her? She’s obviously depressed. We think it stems from her home life although we have no details on that just yet.” Zach stated with a child-like voice  

He was taking this the hardest I think. It was very personal to him since his cousin committed suicide when he was a teenager. 

”Being supportive involves offering encouragement and hope. Most of the time this is a matter of just talking to her in language that she will understand and respond to while in a depressed mind frame.” 

“What are good things to say? We absolutely don’t want to say anything that will be detrimental to her or that will upset her or….” I stated

”Things like ‘You are not alone in this. I’m here for you’, ’You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change’, ’I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help’, ’When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold on for just one more day, hour, minute—whatever you can manage’, ’You are important to me. Your life is important to me’, and ’Tell me what I can do now to help you’ are all good things to say. 

 Also, remember that depression clouds judgment and distorts thinking, causing a normally rational person to believe all sorts of things that aren’t true. Things like she isn’t worthy of love or kindness. That no one really likes her. That the pain she’s feeling is deserved. It’s rough but reassure her that you do like her, things aren’t her fault and that the pain, even if it’s temporary, isn’t deserved and that things will get better even if she can’t see it right at that moment.” Lori explained 

“Thank you baby! Tell my Stella Princess I love her.” Barry stated before we hung up 

 “Brent, you ok?” Zach asked as he looked over at me  

“All I can think is how I felt and how much worse she must be feeling. I never thought the pain I felt was deserved. I can’t even imagine what that feels like. To feel like you’re unworthy of other’s kindness. It just….” I stumbled over my words, “…it’s so hard to imagine. She must….. How long has she been feeling this way? Who started making her feel this way?!”  

“I’ve wondered that too, Brent. It just pisses me off to no end to think about it.” Eric retorted 

 I sighed heavily. Jake said we would need to get to interviews shortly and that we should all calm down before we go. I headed into the bathroom to splash water on my face. Yes, calm down. She’s safe with us now. We can help her through this. By the end of this tour we might even have her recovered from all the abuse she’d been subjected to. Zach would be looking after her like his little sister. Eric was as emotional as me about the whole thing. Hell, that one incident the other day where those guys poured milkshakes on her he growled. He actually growled like a wolf. I’d never heard him do that before. Hopefully I won’t hear that again from him!