Shape of You (+18)

Chapter Fifty-Four

▬▬▬▬Marley's POV▬▬▬▬

"All of these can go to the donate pile," I said, motioning to the dining sets I boxed up, stepping back to give Joel space to grab them. "The ones on the table I wanna keep for myself."

The china set I'd just bought for Grams as a Christmas gift was among the ones to keep, not even opened yet. She never got the chance to, and I couldn't bring myself to give it away.

It wasn't easy, getting rid of her things, making moves to empty her home of everything she collected in her lifetime. But, I had to keep reminding myself that letting it stay the way it was wouldn't bring her back, and it also wouldn't help me move forward.

"Have you thought about what you wanna do with the house, yet?" Joel asked, easily picking up the box and carrying it where I pointed.

"I've thought about it," I mumbled, picking with my fingers, still as unsure as ever. "Honestly, I don't know what the right thing to do is. I feel like if I sell it, I'm giving away one of the only things I have left of both her and my mother, but if I keep it...I'll always be reminded of what I lost. I just wish—"

I had to stop talking to gather myself, my emotions clogging my throat up, making it hard for me to swallow, for me to speak. Joel was there in seconds, his big hands strong as they gripped my arms, holding me. I wanted him to pull me closer, completely envelope me in the love I hoped he felt for me. The love that scared the hell outta me.

Every time I looked in those beautiful brown eyes I felt it, like a slap to the heart that wouldn't let me forget. I loved Joel Kramer. How and when that happened, I wouldn't let myself even attempt to figure out, yet. Not until I knew he felt the same. A little cowardly, I know, but...every time I thought I could maybe start feeling things like love for a man, I got hurt, or used. When I started asking myself if I could feel that way about Joel, I—

You were scared shitless.

I was afraid because...I realized I already was falling for him, and there wasn't a safety net in sight.

"You have all the time in the world, Marley," Joel said, even the slightest touch from him bringing me comfort. "You don't have to rush this decision."

Giving him a appreciative smile, I nodded. "You're right."

One day at a time, right?

***

"Can I have the chicken tenders, daddy?" Everly asked when our waiter came over.

We were at Applebee's, after a few hours spent at Grams' house. I couldn't have even begun to imagine how my day would've gone without any help. I still had so much to do, and Emma and I planned to go back over there in a few days to get more done, but I had a feeling today was the hardest it was gonna get...as long as I didn't have to deal with her actual bedroom. I was avoiding that room like the plague.

"What about you, darling?" Joel asked, my eyes widening in surprise at the use of my favorite nickname in front of his daughter.

Both of our eyes darted to her, and I couldn't help but giggle when I saw she was too focused on coloring the coloring booklet they gave her to even notice us or Joel's slip up. She really was the cutest little human I had the pleasure of knowing.

A light tap on my foot from under the table drew my attention back to Joel, who was giving me a look I didn't know quite what to do with.

'I want you,' he mouthed, and suddenly I was so intrigued by the menu, hiding my heated face from his teasing stare.