In Silence (Book 1) || Loki X Reader

Chapter 29: Decision making

"We need to do something." You snapped after a few minutes of serious thinking. "Bruce you need to do something."

"Y/n I can't do anything. That is magic not medicine. Beside are you forgetting that I wasn't even able to do something about my problem?"

Your heart was beating faster with every word that came out of Bruce's mouth. You knew though that you had to retain your calm but thinking of what could happen if you failed made it even worse to do so. Bruce tried to calm you down by holding your hand and and helping you with you breathing. It admittedly helped a lot and once you were calm enough Bruce started talking again.

"Look you don't need to worry okay? We are going to figure it out."

"Didn't you just say that you never managed to get rid of your own problem?"

"I didn't say we would get rid of her. We can't, believe me. But I can help you control her."

"Thank you Bruce." You gently touched his hand. "I think I'm going to sleep." You smiled at him and Bruce didn't say another word.

You silently walked out of Bruce's lab and headed to the penthouse. When you entered everyone was sitting around the living room and they immediately looked up at you when you entered. Loki was the first one to stand up but he hesitated to move closer. He looked at you with a worried look on his face but you avoided eye contact. You didn't look at anyone else and just headed to your bedroom.

"Y/n-" Steve tried to talk you but you didn't turn around.

You got into the long corridor and quickly got into your room. You locked the door, not wanting for anyone to disturb you, and sat on your window bed, gazing the outside.

You felt a feeling of emptiness taking over you. It felt like you wanted to cry but at the same time you felt nothing at all. At that point it was almost impossible to process everything.

You started thinking how great it would be to go back in time, back to your old life, because no matter how boring it might was it wasn't this complicated.

What if Tony never came to find you?

What if you had never used your powers in the first place.

If only these things hadn't had happened you would never be in this mess.

But then again if all of these hadn't had happened you would've never had found this family. You would've never had met Loki.

This whole situation was truly so complicated. You needed to clear things out but it just seemed impossible. You continued gazing outside the window, looking at how small but at the same time calm people looked. You wondered if you really wanted to have a life like them, normal; not knowing when the next attack was going to happen and not being unable to save themselves if one was occur.

Suddenly you heard a knock on the door which immediately snapped you back. You turned around and thought of what to do. You really didn't want to speak with anyone at the moment so you decided not to answer.

"Y/n?" The knocking continued and Loki was now speaking your name. "Y/n, please. I know you are in."

You didn't answer. You deeply hoped that he would go away, although you knew Loki was not like that.

"Y/n if you don't open-"

"Don't." You cut him before he could finish. "Don't come in. I just need to be alone for a while."

"Darling you know I can't leave you like that. Please let me in."

"Loki I am fine, just go."

"Y/n..." Loki started and you knew exactly what he was thinking. You stood up and started walking to the door.