Marauder's Love

Skeletal Sweets

It's been weeks since I talked to Sirius which is quite a laugh since we were pretty much the only residents in the house since everyone is away now. Even Remus hasn't visited for some time since he and Tonks have been sent on many missions. I sat at the kitchen table unable to rid myself of the anger that filled me since that night with the damn fireplace. He has tried to speak to me since then but I keep shutting him out.

You don't need me, I remind him much to his displeasure but I don't care. I could have done things during those years when he was imprisoned. Maybe I would've had a future like being a teacher at Hogwarts, traveling the world, starting a family... No. Thinking about being with someone else other than Sirius seemed odd and foreign but there was one man that almost made me think about leaving Sirius... The front of the house was forming lifting my spirits of the thought of visitors and I hate visitors. I stand from my seat at the table to start a pot of tea when footsteps entered the kitchen, I turn to see Isgur standing in the doorway with a small smile on his face. Isgur was dressed rather causal today compared to his other dashing outfits, he wore a white long-sleeved shirt, a dark brown tie with a light brown suit vest, and blue jeans.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure?" I smile as I walked over to him, hugging him. He smelled like grass mixed with expensive cologne but oddly satisfying. Isgur's arms wrapped around me squeezing me for a moment before we pulled away from each other.

"I've heard from Remus that things haven't been going so well," he smiles kindly as his eyes flashed to the staircase probably making sure Sirius wasn't nearby to eavesdrop.

"Aye," I whisper, taking a seat at the table.

"Want to talk about it? I've got your favorite," he reveals a brown sack that he must've been hiding from me when he entered.

"You didn't," I giggle as he ripped the bag at the side to reveal the little skeletons. Skeletal Sweets was one of my favorite candies that are sold at Honeydukes in Hogsmead.

"I did," he chuckles, watching me bite off the skeleton's head. "Now tell what's wrong, Sarah."

"What is there to tell?" I force a smile. "He screamed at me one night and told me that he does not need me. Who am I to say that a fully grown man needs me?"

"He needs you," Isgur smiles gently, sitting with his arms propped on the table while his upper body leaned into them.

"How do you know?"

"How could he not? Since your school years, the two of you have been together through his imprisonment, and even now when you can leave whenever you want. How could he not? You are truly a great woman, Sarah, any man can see that."

"You are too kind, Benjamin," I smile a true smile but it fades. "I wish things would have been different."

"Like?"

"What if we never joined the Order? Maybe I could be off living somewhere with babies surrounding me," I smile dreamily. "Perhaps Lily and James would be alive today, and Harry could have a proper family."

"Is that what you truly have wanted?" he asks. "To never have joined the Order? To fight for the good of the world and defeat evil, is that not what you want?"

"To not see the dead bodies of my friends and to see the man I love locked away for twelve years," I whisper as I glare down at the table. "It would have been nice."

"I'm sorry," Isgur whispers gently. "I know things were hard for you during those years, I know."

"You know a lot about me, hmm?" I glance up at him.

"How could I not?" he smirks.

Stop it, I tell myself as I watched him.

"You kept me sane during those years, Ben," I sigh with a smile, "I don't think, I would've made it without you there."

"I will always be there for you, Sarah," he reaches across the table and takes my hand in his. I couldn't help myself as I stroked his knuckles with the pad of my thumb.

Stop this now, I shout in my head but I was alone and Isgur is one of the best things to happen in my life for some time now.

"I should leave," Ben says, looking up at me. His eyes looked so sad to me while I mentally agreed with him that he should leave but that means me being alone once again.

"If you have to go," I whisper with a frown.

"I'll be back soon, I promise. If you need anything, Sarah, just send-", he shakes his head. "I forget that we shouldn't send messages. I'll try to come at least weekly, okay?"

"Please?"

"I promise," he smiles gently, pulling his hand from my grasp. He stands from his seat which I slowly follow suit as I walked behind him to the front door, Ben stopped just before the door and turned to face me.

"Things will get better, Sarah. I know they will," he smiles down at me.

"I hope you're right," I gulp. Ben just shakes his head before wrapping his arms around me, I leaned into his body enjoying the comfort.

This is wrong, I remind myself. I knew this was wrong all those years ago just a couple of years after Sirius was imprisoned. We parted reluctantly and Isgur quickly departed leaving me in the house with the Hermit upstairs.

I returned to the kitchen after Isgur left but when I entered the kitchen, I jump when I see Sirius standing in front of the fireplace.

"So, your friend left? Hmm?" Sirius mumbles as he takes a sip from the glass that he had which dark liquid, lovely.

"Yes," I roll my eyes not wanting to argue tonight. "He's gone. Happy?"

"I suppose I should be since he and you seem rather cozy together. But you have forgotten to mention how you meet him, my dear. Care to share?" He turned to face me with a dark look on his face sending an unpleasant chill down my spine.

"Does it make a difference?" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest. "We met when you were gone. We're just friends, Sirius. Nothing more."

"Just friends," he scoffs. "I'm not blind, Sarah! I can see how he looks at you! Visiting you, bringing you candy like a little schoolboy, and holding your hand in my house!"

Sirius throws the glass into the fire making the flames rise before they settled back down. I remained quiet as I watched the flames, listening to Sirius's heavy breathing and I knew I should just leave the room to allow him to calm down hopefully, but unfortunately, I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"I had the opportunity to move on with my life, Sirius Black," I say in a low voice, "I could have moved on and found someone else. And I was going to but I was a coward and a love-sick puppy who couldn't stop waiting for you! I waited for you for twelve years, hoping that someday they would find you innocent and bring you back to me. That little schoolboy was there for me when everyone turned their back on me even my brother told me to let you go but I didn't."

"Sarah-"

"Benjamin Isgur is one of the best things to happen to me during those years and I won't let him go. I know I'm hurting him for not letting him go but damn me to hell. But also, damn you. When you escaped you didn't write or come to find me instead you went on the hunt for Peter! Not me! When you went into hiding you went to see Harry at Hogwarts! Not me! So, how am I supposed to give up someone who comes and sees me when even the man that's supposed to love me doesn't? Ben will always be there for me even when all this bullshit is over with."

I turn away from him and climb up the stairs not caring if he was following me. Doesn't matter now. I slam the door of the bedroom to cover the sob that crashed itself throughout my body. The tears fell down my face like a waterfall as I collapsed onto the bed. It should have never ended up like this, never. We're supposed to live happily ever after not at each other's throats.

"Stop crying, you fool," I mumble to myself as I shrink into the pillow and blankets as if I could magically disappear from this house.

Sirius is the man that you love, I think to myself while trying to close my stinging eyes. You love him. He is your soulmate. My fingers creep from under the cover to find my wand that was hidden under the pillow, and with a trembling flick, a silver wisp came forth from the tip. The wisp took the shape of the large dog that matched Sirius's animagus, the dog sat on its haunches with the tongue rolling out its mouth.

"I love you, you dumb dog," I whisper just before I fell asleep.