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Awamila Hussain knew, there was only one way she would actually forgive Yazan if needed. That was if he was truly guilty and he wanted her forgiveness. She saw how his eyes watered when she was talking in the stage. She knew he was guilty. Yazan had always been impulsive it was very easy to misguide. He has always been.
She was looking ahead. There was an eerie silence in the car. There was no one in the car beside them and Awamila be the hated that. It reminded her of their time together. She remembered how she would look at him from time to time, how she would ogle at him. How she noticed everything about him. How she believed his words without any hesitation.
She shook her head. It was in the past. And one should always keep the past where it belongs. That is in the back. So it doesn't block your future. She sat straight royally in his BMW. Not looking at Yazan, who was glancing at her from time to time. He thought she wouldn't notice. But she knew he was looking at her from time to time. Her ice cold eyes were blank. After he left her she actually didn't expected anything from anyone anymore. It was as if a switch was switched off in her system. Why does people act like they care if they actually don't care? Why do they have to do that? What was her fault?
But all she can say is that the Awamila who was madly and truly in love with Yazan was dead. She would never ever love someone as much as she used to love him. Maybe at the back of her mind she knew that she still cared for Yazan. He was like an overgrown child. But maybe that was the memories speaking. If she wanted anything in this world it would be to erase all the memories with Yazan. All the times that they spent together.
Yazan looked at the girl who used to once rule his heart and mind. Do you know how do they say that you really don't understand the value of a person until they're gone? He unfortunately realize that too late. He never wanted to hurt her.
He recalled the time when he first saw her. She was 17 when he first saw her. Her long and thick hairs that used to reach till her hips. Her grey color eyes, void of any emotions. But it didn't used to feel cold like now. Even though she was kinda aloof and silent, her eyes used to speak volume. Her eyes always used to carry a certain warmth in them. She used to look at the sky and keep starring. Like she was in a trance. She would smile when taking with his mother and siblings. She sometimes used to come to their home to meet his grandfather. To play chess. She is an international champion in chess. And he knew that even though his grandfather was so good at chess, he used to bought her home too teach him chess. And they were literally forbidden from telling her that the cleaver fox already knew chess.
But now it's like she's a completely different person. She became a workaholic. She spends her all free time in hospital. He remembers her favorite thing to do was playing squash. Now she doesn't even play it. He did terrible things to her in the past. Like bully and mocking. But she never pushed him away from her. Maybe that's why he thought that even maybe this time she won't push him away. But after tonight he realized that he was wrong. She was not someone who they told him to be. It was his fault that they managed to make him hate her for 3 years.
